Self-confidence is an intangible quality that effects every area of your life, even when you don't realize it. Self-confidence is your belief in your capabilities--not to be confused with self-esteem, which is belief in your ultimate value. Two ways to improve your self-confidence are by achieving goals and by changing the way you think.
Goals
Goals can provide focus to your life and keep you from drifting, according to Psychology Today magazine. Since self-confidence is belief in your capabilities, successfully exercising these capabilities is a way of proving yourself against your doubts. Make sure your goals are realistic, so you will not damage your self-confidence by failing to achieve them. Write them down, list the obstacles to achieving them, break them down into sub-goals and reward yourself when you achieve your sub-goals. As you gradually achieve more and more, your self-confidence will increase.
Meta-Awareness
Negative internal dialogue is one of the main drags on both self-confidence and self-esteem. Develop the habit of paying attention to the things you say to yourself about your own capabilities, advises psychologist Lisa Firestone. Practice this "meta-awareness" consistently, until monitoring your own internal dialogue becomes second nature to you. Try to identify the source of your self-critical thoughts. Some of these thoughts may sound familiar--the voice of your father or of your high school gym teacher, for example. Once you have identified the source of some of these voices, resolve to be more compassionate to yourself than these figures from your past were.
Internal Intervention
Once you have developed an awareness of your own self-critical thoughts and their origins, write them down, change them into positive and compassionate statements, and challenge your self-critical thoughts using your newly created thoughts, advises Firestone. Be realistic; if you are an imperfect parent, for example, admit it to yourself. Remember, however, that being an imperfect parent doesn't make you an evil person and perhaps not even a lousy parent. Treat yourself with as much compassion as you would your best friend.
The Challenge Mentality
Life can be a series of daunting problems or a series of exhilarating challenges. The only difference between the two is how you look at obstacles. Viewing obstacles constructively will help you develop self-confidence, according to the University of Illinois. In addition to reforming your thought patterns, you can build a "challenge mentality" through action. Commit yourself to performing at least one act that you are afraid to perform every day. This could be as simple as talking to a stranger or as wild as bungee jumping. The only two things that matter are that you are afraid to do it and that you do it anyway. Courage alone does not equal self-confidence--but self-confidence is impossible without it.
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