How Introverts Handle Conflict

According to Nan Peck, an associate professor of Speech and Communication at Northern Virginia Community College, people's individual conflict styles are often directly influenced by how they communicate and their basic personality type. An extrovert, for example, may be likely to take an assertive or collaborative approach to conflict, while an introvert is more likely to avoid conflict or give into the needs or desires of others.

Avoidance of Conflict

According to Nan Peck, passivity or avoidance is among the most prominent styles of conflict. Experts at the University of Texas, Austin also note that because conflict can create a great deal of discomfort between people, those who are introverted or shy may feel marked discomfort and the tendency to withdraw when they are faced with the potential for a disagreement or conflict.

Causes of Conflict

Experts at the University of Texas, Austin note that conflict is a common experience in family, work, and romantic relationships. Conflict arises when people have competing needs or values or differing perceptions about a situation. Conflict can create very strong feelings of anger, distrust, frustration, or disappointment, and for introverted individuals, this is often the biggest challenge. Introverts tend to be less expressive about strong feelings, such as anger, and this can create a desire to avoid conflict at all costs.

Proactive Approaches to Conflict

Experts note that there are a wide variety of approaches to conflict. Some individuals, especially those who more outspoken, are strongly assertive and angry during conflicts, lacking the control necessary to properly discuss and resolve a conflict. Nan Peck points out that both very strongly assertive conflict styles and very passive conflict styles rarely result in an effective long-term solution. If one party withdraws from or gives in to the other, the resulting solutions will not be as productive as a collaborative negotiation.

Benefit of Conflict Resolution

Experts at the University of Texas, Austin, note that conflict resolution can often produce more productive solutions for all parties involved in a dispute. Conflict mediation requires that both parties involved in the conflict participate in a collaborative discussion about resolutions and compromise. This can be difficult for introverted individuals because the resolution process requires open, assertive communication.

Expert Insight

Experts at the University of Wisconsin, Madison suggest that mediation can be an important tool for people who have difficulty with conflict. Introverted individuals can often benefit from the presence of a mediator because they can gain a sense of support and safety discussing the issues with a third party. This is particularly true when introverts have to face a discussion with a more assertive individual or group.

When an individual understands his individual conflict style and personality type, he will be able to share those insights with a conflict mediator, and the mediator can often help make sure he expresses his needs and opinions clearly without withdrawing from the discussion.