Dating with integrity isn't very different from living with integrity. Both require honesty, reliability and compassion. Showing integrity while dating also means getting to know someone before becoming intimate. "Resist temptation! It's so important to get to know a person and let the emotional, intellectual connection, and spiritual connection for some, grow first," says relationship coach Amy Schoen. "This is a foundation of a great relationship. If there is physical attraction, that's great. It's not going anywhere."
Step 1
Explain to your dates what you're looking for. If you're only interested in casual hookups, let them know. If you just got out of a relationship and need time before committing to anyone, tell them. Be upfront and direct to avoid misleading romantic partners or unintentionally hurting them.
Step 2
Tell the truth about yourself, and this includes topics that might be difficult to discuss. "It is imperative that men and women are totally honest with each other during the dating process," says relationship coach Mark Gungor. While you might wait and get to know someone before you reveal certain things, Gungor says it's unfair not to tell a partner fairly early on if you have a sexually transmitted disease or an addiction to alcohol or if you have been sexually abused.
Step 3
Show that you're reliable. Arrive on time for dates, call when you say you will and follow through on your promises. "Everyone breaks promises," says life coach Dave Ellis, author of "Falling Awake." He adds, "The only way to be absolutely certain we keep promises is not to make any--or to just make those we're certain we can keep. Either way leads to playing it safe."
Step 4
Discuss grievances only with your dates. If you have a problem with someone you're dating, talk about it with her only and refrain from complaining to your friends. "Negative gossip about third parties who, of course, have no opportunity to defend themselves is a dangerous game that can rebound on the gossiper," says Psychology Today contributor Nigel Nicholson. Show your integrity by keeping mum about dates gone wrong or your dates' unflattering idiosyncrasies.
Step 5
Express your needs, wants and feelings. It's unfair to harbor resentment if your date has no idea she has done something wrong. "Suppose you're upset," says relationship expert Phil McGraw. "When your partner senses that and asks, 'Is something bothering you?' emotional integrity requires that you won't deny the message you're sending verbally or otherwise."
Step 6
End the relationship if you've found someone new or your heart isn't in it. You might have grown accustomed to dating a particular person, but it's dishonest to lead her on if you have no intention of committing. Regardless of whether the idea of being alone feels uncomfortable or scary, you owe it to her to bring things to a close if you clearly don't see a future with her.
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