Stages of the Grieving Process

The late Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified a five-stage process of grief that has become widely accepted throughout the world. Grief cannot be associated with the simple loss of a loved one or a shocking medical diagnosis. Grief can occur through the loss of a job, a long-held belief or a goal one must abandon. These stages do not follow a chronological order or a definitive timeline. In fact, a person may have to revisit one of the stages if her transition through the entire process is not complete the first time around. Whatever path a person may travel through the stages, each is a necessary component of the grieving process.
Support and validation of all the feelings associated with the stages of grief are necessary to heal and recover.

Denial

The Denial stage of grieving is closely related with the Anger stage. In fact, these two stages may occur simultaneously. Denial is one of the stages of grieving that is most often revisited throughout the process. As each level is worked through, there is usually a part of the person that wants to keep the denial alive.

Anger

For many people, the Anger stage of grieving is quickly worked through or visited only as a fleeting thought. An elderly person who has passed, a long-term illness are examples where anger can be mitigated over other stages that require longer periods of time. Anger is closely related with denial, and a person can vacillate between the two stages as his grief progresses. The person experiencing the anger stage may be withdrawn or lash out at those around them.

Bargaining

The Bargaining stage manifests the desire to change the circumstances or details prior to an event occurring. An offer of self-sacrifice is a common occurrence, as in "I wish I could trade places with her," or "Why wasn't it me?" This stage can bring up feelings of powerlessness and inadequacy.
The bargaining stage can be viewed by others as sheer folly, but the declaration of willing sacrifice should be acknowledged.

Depression

The Depression stage of the grieving process has the potential to be long-lasting. This stage may last months to years. The Depression stage may manifest through loss of appetite, desire to sleep more or remain in bed, as well as a disregard for personal hygiene, in which case the person would need assistance. Depression may also result in muddled thinking, confusion and loss of purpose.

Acceptance

When a person arrives at the Acceptance stage of grieving, he has accepted the event as fact and is finally ready to move on. The long-term healing process has begun.

Final Thoughts

No two people grieve in the same way. These stages are worked through according to a person's own needs and life skills. Acceptance and support by loved ones and friends is essential to anyone experiencing grief.