Teaching your child the proper way to act at the table helps her learn social skills and can make meals more pleasant. You can introduce basic table manners when your child is a toddler, according to BabyCenter. When your child starts school, she'll be old enough to understand why certain behaviors during meal times aren't acceptable. Enforcing good table manners and discouraging bad ones consistently makes it easier for toddlers and grade-schoolers to know what's expected of them.
Toddlers
Step 1
Help your child wash his hands before eating. Explain he needs to clean his hands before touching food.
Step 2
Set a good behavioral example for your child to follow. Speak in an upbeat tone throughout the meal and avoid raising your voice. Keep the television off and let phone calls wait until after you've eaten, so your child learns meal time is family time.
Step 3
Ask your child to say "please" when she wants food or a drink. Tell her to say "thank you" when she gets what she asked for. Praise her when she uses the correct words or phrases. You'll need to gently prompt her until she gets used to using these on a regular basis.
Step 4
Praise your child when he uses utensils to eat, but don't get upset if he still uses his hands to help the food reach his mouth. Kids typically don't learn to use utensils efficiently until they're between three and four years old, according to "Teaching Your Children Good Manners" authors Laurie Berkenkamp, Steven C. Atkins and Charlie Wogolm.
Step 5
Discourage impolite or unacceptable behaviors such as taking someone else's food, throwing food, banging utensils, shouting, getting out of her chair during the meal or spitting. Tell her "no" in a calm but firm voice when she misbehaves, and take her away from the table if she refuses to stop.
Grade-schoolers
Step 1
Remind your child to wash his hands before he comes to the table. Show him how to set the table. Ask him to help you set it for the next few meals, then let him try it on his own.
Step 2
Enforce basic manners, such as saying "please" and "thank you" as food is served or passed around the table. Tell your child to wait until everyone else is ready before she begins eating.
Step 3
Help your child cut up his food with a knife. Don't let him use his fingers to eat foods that should be eaten with utensils. Explain which type of utensil to use if he's presented with different types to choose from, such as a soup spoon and regular spoon.
Step 4
Show your child the proper way to eat by taking small bites and chewing quietly with your mouth closed. Encourage her to do the same. Ask her to use a napkin to wipe her face as she eats. Tell her not to slurp or gulp down her food.
Step 5
Speak in a pleasant voice during meals and encourage your child to engage in polite conversation. Don't allow him to yell or interrupt others. If he misbehaves, calmly reprimand him. If he continues to act up, have him leave the table and don't give him dessert.
Step 6
Teach your child to ask if she can be excused from the table instead of just getting up and leaving. Ask her to carry her dishes to the kitchen and help clean up the table when everyone is done eating.
Tips and Warnings
- BabyCenter advises parents not to force kids to finish all the food on their plates. Kids should learn instead to eat until their stomachs are full.
References
- BabyCenter: Teaching Table Manners to Your Toddler
- BabyCenter: Teaching Table Manners to Your School-Age Child
- "Teaching Your Children Good Manners: A Go Parents! Guide"; Lauri Berkenkamp, Steven C. Atkins, Charlie Woglom; 2001
