Whether you've just met a moody girl, or she's a longtime friend, holding a conversation sometimes can be frustrating or taxing. "A moody person may be going through a difficult stage in their lives," psychologist Mark Tyrell says. He adds, "They may be exhausted, ill, chronically worried or lacking what they need in terms of love, sleep, challenge or security." Regardless of the reasons behind your friend's moodiness, you can help lift her mood by extending compassion and practicing objectivity.
Step 1
Show your support. "Just being understanding or just listening may help the moody person, if their mood isn't unconsciously aligned with controlling others," psychologist Tyrell says. Maintain a positive mood while listening to your friend. If she belittles or criticizes herself or others, be empathetic, but don't reinforce her thinking by joining in her negative talk.
Step 2
Smile as you talking to your friend. That can help pick up her mood, and let her know you're on her side. "People across cultures understand the value of a smile and other facial expressions that point toward the emotion we call 'being happy' or happiness. And we know that smiling itself can help increase positive, pro-social behaviors," psychiatrist John M. Grohol says.
Step 3
Compliment her outfit, or praise her on a deeper level by letting her know you value her as a friend. Tell her she's intelligent, charming or kind. Making a personal comment can ease her bad mood, and take her mind off her problems.
Step 4
Ask questions, because people often don't have time to be moody when they're occupied in a discussion. Ask about her hobbies or her opinion on a story that's been in the news. Help ease her out of her funk by steering her thoughts to an interesting or topical subject.
Step 5
Remember not to take her behavior personally. If she's constantly moody, chances are it's not because of you. "Habitually moody people routinely prioritize their own feelings over and above your or my feelings," psychologist Tyrrell says. If her moodiness causes you to feel badly about yourself, tactfully remove yourself from the conversation, and go about your day.
Step 6
Realize that you can't change her. "What you can do, just once, is to make a polite request for another to stop the behavior that you find frustrating, annoying or disturbing," psychiatrist Grohol says. "After that, you just become a nag and will be ignored." You can temporarily lift a friend's mood, but if she's prone to moodiness and wants to change her thoughts and behavior, the job is hers alone.
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