Moving from a crush to a date is no small feat. Crushes are exciting, intimidating and nerve-wracking--and taking action to move beyond them requires courage and vulnerability. It's tough for most people to ask someone out, but it's possible to make the process easier by preparing in advance. Building self-confidence can also go a long way in turning crushes into dates.
Step 1
Evaluate whether your crush is someone you would really like to date. As Erika V. Shearin Karres, author of "Crushes, Flirts and Friends," points out, crushes hold the potential of love but are most often temporary and superficial. Get to know more about the crush before asking her out. If you believe the two of you could be compatible, it's worth trying to pursue something more.
Step 2
Flirt with your crush before you try to get a date. Flirting will signal your romantic interest and give you a chance to gauge your crush's reactions. Try giving compliments, asking thoughtful questions about his life, using playful body language or touching him lightly on the arm or shoulder. If he doesn't seem receptive, it might be wise to wait before asking for a date.
Step 3
Display your true personality when you talk with a crush. It will help her get to know you better and may improve the chances that she will say yes to a date. Resist the urge to put pressure on yourself to act perfectly, be funny all the time or always say something interesting. Instead, enjoy the process of getting to know the other person, as Henry Cloud, author of "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping," recommends.
Step 4
Ask your crush to spend more time with you. Suggest that the two of you meet up for coffee, a meal or a game. Try to take pressure off yourself before asking by reminding yourself that the stakes are not as high as you think and that you shouldn't take any rejections personally. Ask casually and confidently--and stay true to your personality when you do.
Step 5
Build confidence before and during the process of asking someone out. Victorya Michaels Rogers, author of "The Automatic 2nd Date," encourages people to stand tall and hold their heads high, even if they don't feel as confident as they look. Use positive self-talk, praise your own actions and reward yourself for a job well done--even if the result doesn't always turn out to be what you wanted.
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