Marriage counseling or couples therapy helps those in relationships deal with problems and enhance their relationship, notes HelpGuide.org. Couples should expect to commit several weeks to a few months to marriage counseling, reports the MayoClinic.com. Counseling sessions will require the participation, but it may take a couple of sessions before each of you feels comfortable enough discussing your intimate life in front of the counselor. It is important not to expect changes overnight.
Step 1
Share with your spouse why you feel the desire to go to marriage counseling. Express to him that you feel the counselor will help you both understand each other better. Tell him that you want to go to counseling so that a professional can help you understand what you need to do in order to make improvements to the relationship.
Step 2
Talk with your spouse about the things you can work on during marriage counseling. The MayoClinic.com reports on a variety of possible topics including, but not limited to affairs, issues related to sexual problems, financial differences, children, substance use and problems with effective communication. Discuss topics that are specific to your relationship.
Step 3
Ask him if he will participate with you in marriage counseling. Discuss with him any of his concerns or reservations. Pay attention to what he says. Be sure to validate his concerns. Make him aware that you have similar concerns. Express you disappointment if he decides he does not want to attend. Be sure to do this respectfully.
Step 4
Inform him that you will work with a therapist even if he does not want to be involved. According to the MayoClinic.com, attending marriage counseling without your spouse can still be beneficial by allowing you to deepen your understanding of yourself in the relationship. Tell him that you would prefer if he attended the counseling sessions with you. Express to him you desire for him to be involved, but you understand his reservations.
Step 5
Schedule your initial counseling session. Make it for a time of day that you and you spouse can both attend even if he has not agreed to it yet. Tell your spouse the date and time of the initial appointment. Express again your desire for him to attend with you.
Step 6
Attend the initial session. Express to the counselor your spouse's reservations about attending counseling sessions. Inform the counselor why you wanted him to participate. Tell the therapist about the steps you have already taken in order to get him to attend. Listen to what the counselor has to say. The counselor might have some insight into your relationship and future steps you can take to get your spouse involved in counseling.
Talk with your spouse after your first session. Inform him what it was like. Tell him about the office. Express to him how the counselor made you feel.
Step 7
Engage in the steps the counselor suggested you take to get your spouse involved in counseling. Be sure to do this in a respectful and gracious manner. Talk with your counselor about what you did during the next session.
