According to the Mayo Clinic, marital infidelity can cause significant emotional issues for both partners in a marriage. When an affair is first discovered or disclosed, both partners may experience a period of marked shock and grief. During this time emotions may change rapidly from sadness to anger. Experts at the Mayo Clinic suggest that couples take time to process these feelings prior to enacting decisions about the future of the marriage.
Definition of Infidelity
Experts at the Mayo Clinic note that the definition of infidelity may vary depending on the perspective of the individuals. Couples in monogamous relationships should discuss these issues and agree on what constitutes infidelity or inappropriate contact or relationships with partners outside the marriage. For some couples it is strictly defined as any emotional or physical relationship with another person, including online or by phone. Couples need to have a clear understanding of what infidelity means to them in order to prevent transgressions.
Causes of Infidelity
According to experts at the Mayo Clinic, there isn't one specific cause of infidelity. The act may be an impulsive mistake or it may come from unmet needs in the marriage. Individuals with substance abuse issues or sex addiction may engage in these behaviors out of compulsion. Psychologists at the Mayo Clinic note, however, that infidelity is often a symptom of underlying stress or issues in a marriage.
Emotional Responses to Infidelity
The initial response to news of infidelity is often severe shock and anger. An unfaithful partner will often feel a deep sense of shame or guilt. Experts at the Mayo Clinic suggest that this is often a response to traumatic events, and in order to gradually transition through this stage, spouses should give each other space and not immediately delve into details about the affair or why it may have happened. Over time, the intensity of these initial emotions will stabilize and communication may be possible.
Seeking Help
The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists suggests that couples who experience crisis within a marriage often benefit from couples counseling. The breach of trust create by an extramarital affair is very difficult to process, and a therapist can offer insight and unbiased support for both partners as they work through the difficult emotions and make decisions about the future of the relationship.
Expert Insight
Experts at the Mayo Clinic note that not all marriages that experience infidelity can or should continue, and some may end in divorce. At the same time, infidelity does not always mean that the marriage is over. Partners must take the time and space to process and determine how they feel as individuals. It is often helpful if both partners enter individual therapy with a qualified professional to process their feelings and make decisions about the future. Experts at the Mayo Clinic suggest that an extramarital affair must be terminated if a couple plans to stay together and rebuild a healthy, stable marriage.
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