Each year, at least 1.4 million people in the United States sustain a traumatic brain injury, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and approximately 37 percent experience a decrease in sex drive. For most adult survivors, this also means that their partners suffer the collateral damage associated with a decreased frequency of sexual activity, but with patience and professional counseling, improvement is possible. Talking with other couples who have experienced the same challenge is one way you can move forward if you or the one you love sustains a traumatic brain injury.
Step 1
Commit to creating a new sex life. After a traumatic head injury, you're likely to be dealing with depression, anger, frustration and memory loss, according to a review in the December 2005 issue of "Psychiatric Times." Together with headaches, dizziness and fatigue, these emotions are not conducive to developing sexual interest. One way to address this is to borrow a technique from neuro-linguistic programming: Behave as if you were sexually interested, and let your brain and your interest follow your body's lead.
Step 2
Create an environment that supports post-TBI lovemaking. Begin distracted is common after even mild brain injuries, so music playing in the background or even the scent of candles might be off limits. If headaches are an issue, consider using low lighting, and if you become easily frustrated by interruptions, turn off all phones and other devices that make noise.
Step 3
Pretend you're 15 again. If you can remember how prolonged periods of kissing and mutually exciting touching felt when you both knew this was the limit, try to recreate the experience. Sex therapists often prescribe foreplay-only episodes because the practice removes the pressure to perform while still showing love and affection. Choose a time when you are relaxed and aren't tired.
Step 4
Reach out for help. Retreats for couples dealing with traumatic brain injury and groups that meet in teleconferences might help you and your partner avoid the sense of isolation sexual problems can cause while medical care tries to help with the physical symptoms. If you are taking medications, ask your pharmacist if one or more of these substances might be interfering with your sex drive. Conversely, if your headaches or memory loss are severe, consider asking whether medication might help.
