Life skills are more than knowing how to perform a certain task. They are the foundational learning that children must have to successfully navigate the adult world. Strong life skills enable children to make thoughtful decisions and provide necessities for themselves and eventually their own families. Life skills, combined with strong values, are the foundation for becoming a successful member of adult society.
Communication Skills
Step 1
Model active listening and empathy with your child. Information that is significant to her---peer acceptance and the latest trends in clothing or music, for example---might not be high on your list of priorities, but they are important to her. The best way to teach her to consider others' concerns is to demonstrate it.
Step 2
Ask your child to clearly explain what he needs, especially when his nonverbal communication suggests that something is bothering him. Effectively articulating wants and needs is essential to having those needs met.
Step 3
Teach your child to effectively negotiate compromise. Opportunities to practice these skills occur frequently in family life. Disputes with a sibling can be a teaching moment. Stop the argument and ask both kids to step back and clearly explain the situation from their point of view. Encourage both to offer fair solutions to the dispute. Allow each time to explain why any given solution does or does not meet their needs, then ask them to combine ideas to reach a solution that meets everyone's needs.
Step 4
Teach your child when and how to be assertive. Many of life's conflicts can be resolved through negotiation, but some decisions leave no room for compromise. Teach your child how to recognize decisions that directly question her values, such as cheating on a test or experimenting with sexual activity, and make sure she knows that in those situations it's acceptable to be stubborn and assertive about her decision.
Problem-solving Skills
Step 1
Watch for a time when your child is clearly struggling with an issue that has a moral component, such as an unfair call in a sporting event or a bad grade in math class. He might be struggling with the temptation to quit the team or cheat on the next test. Encourage him to define the problem. Be sure he explores tangential issues related to the core problem. Was the unfair call a one-time event, or part of a larger pattern? Is his bad grade due to lack of effort on his part, or does he not understand the material and need extra help? Does he spend time studying, but need to learn better study skills to use his time more effectively?
Step 2
Ask her to brainstorm possible solutions. Encourage her to look beyond the easy answers, but avoid telling her what her options are.
Step 3
Encourage him to consider his personal values and how they affect his interpretation of the problem. Perhaps math is not his favorite subject, but he is a talented musician. A low grade in math might be acceptable to him as long as it does not interfere with his ability to participate in the school band.
Step 4
Help your child identify and analyze the people and groups that influence her view of the problem, including media, peers, family and role models.
Step 5
Allow him to choose and follow through on a course of action, even if it is not the solution you prefer. Unless he will actively harm himself or others, allowing him to make decisions for himself and experience the consequences is a powerful teaching tool.
