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Dating Divorced Women With Kids

by
author image Kathryn Rateliff Barr
Rev. Kathryn Rateliff Barr has taught birth, parenting, vaccinations and alternative medicine classes since 1994. She is a pastoral family counselor and has parented birth, step, adopted and foster children. She holds bachelor's degrees in English and history from Centenary College of Louisiana. Studies include midwifery, naturopathy and other alternative therapies.
Dating Divorced Women With Kids
A couple on a date at a cafe. Photo Credit moodboard/moodboard/Getty Images

Most single moms remarry within five years of the divorce, according to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau report "Remarriage in the United States." Before you can marry her, though, you have to win her trust and love in a dating relationship. Common challenges during the dating period including pacing the relationship, balancing her needs with those of her kids and scheduling time for dates.

Honoring Her Priorities

Dating isn't a single mom's top priority, so help her arrange things so she can get out with you. Let her know you understand that her kids come first. If the ex isn't co-parenting and the kids are too young to be left alone, she will have to hire a babysitter or at least have advanced planning to go out. Money might also be tight for her, so offer to pay the sitter and definitely spring for all the other date expenses.

Characteristics of Divorced Moms

A single mom has to be tough, independent, patient, real, practical, fun, selfless, nurturing, and picky about the right man for her and the kids. She is confident and appreciative of her strengths and abilities. To be the man of her dreams, you can't create drama and you must want kids. Admire her strengths and compliment her on them. Show her you can bring strength, stability and love to her life.

Liking Kids is Important

A single mom won't want to spend a lot of time dating a guy who doesn't want kids, so let her know up front how you feel about kids and the possibility of become a stepparent, suggests Kate Anthony in her YourTango article, “Kate's Tips To Be An Awesomely Datable Single Mom.” If you have kids, you might let her know you understand how challenging dating is for a single parent. Swapping a few stories about your kids could also inject humor into your conversation and break the ice on your first date.

Meet the Kids

It's common for the kids to want mom and dad to bet back together. Older kids could be uncomfortable thinking about mom as a dating, sexual being, according to psychologist Carl Pickhardt in "Adolescence and the Dating Parent," writing for "Psychology Today." If the relationship is leaning to a long-term commitment, you will meet the kids. It might start with an introduction as Mom’s friend and progress to activities that include her and the children if things move positively. Take it slow with the kids and build a relationship based on friendship, not as a future stepparent.

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