Approximately half of all marriages in the United States eventually end in divorce, according to "Time" magazine, citing research by Penn State University sociologist Paul Amato. The end of a marriage can cause financial hardship and emotional upheaval for all parties concerned. The effects can be even greater in marriages where children are involved. Once the decision has been made to end a marriage, life is often never the same for the divorcing couple.
Effects on Children
Divorce can have adverse effects on children of all ages, advises Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, writing for Woman's Divorce. Children of all ages may regress in behavior development. Older children who are forced to take on additional child care and financial responsibilities may feel deprived, yet guilty about wanting to enjoy the same freedom as their friends. Some teenagers may withdraw socially, abuse alcohol and illegal drugs, or act out.
Acting out is particularly common in households where children grow up without fathers, according to father's rights attorney Jeffery Leving, writing for his Fathers' Rights website. Children compensate for the absence of a male parent by joining gangs, turning to gang leaders to substitute for father figures, Leving claims. Children who grow up without fathers are also much more likely to wind up in jail than children whose fathers play an active role in their lives, according to Leving.
Financial Effects
A famous study conducted by Dr. Lenore J. Weitzman in the 1980s claimed that women's standard of living fell by 73 percent after a divorce while men's standard of living increased by 42 percent, according to The New York Times. Later results mitigated the disparity of financial effects of divorce between men and women. Nonetheless, there is little dispute that divorce can wreak financial havoc on both spouses.
Financial adviser Bruce Raabe, writing for The Modern Woman's Divorce Guide, advises divorcing spouses to build a support network including an attorney, a support group of other people going through a divorce and a financial adviser. A professional adviser can guide you through the maze of dividing property, spousal and child support and establishing a financial plan for your new single life, Raabe claims. Divorcing women who did not work outside the home especially should consider how they will deal with insurance, opening separate bank accounts and establishing their own credit, according to Woman's Divorce.
Starting Over
Once the divorce is final, both spouses face the prospect of continuing their lives as singles, or seeking new romantic companions. "Psychology Today" states that many newly single people must deal with insensitivity and even jealousy from friends and family. New friendships can help you maintain your self esteem as well as offering a fresh perspective. Facing holidays alone can be an emotional minefield if you're used to being part of a couple. Plan enjoyable activities, especially during the holidays, which can represent an emotional minefield, the magazine advises.
The temptation to go back to an ex can be overwhelming, although it's usually not advisable, according to "Divorce Magazine." Other newly divorced people jump into another serious relationship right away. This is also usually a mistake. On the other hand, enthusiastically re-entering the dating scene can help you recover from losing your spouse, although you should be honest with yourself and your dating partners, the magazine advises.
References
- Woman's Divorce: Divorce Effects on Children by Developmental Stage
- Fathers' Rights: Absent Fathers and Youth Violence
- The Modern Woman's Divorce Guide: Lost in Transition-- Keeping Your Financial Plan on Track Before, During and After a Divorce
- DivorceMag.com: Dating After Divorce
- "Psychology Today": Dating After Divorce
