Teaching children to resolve disputes is one of the most challenging tasks of being a parent or teacher. Squabbles on the playground or conflicts between siblings regarding toys, television time or friends are a normal part of growing up. Children get angry and jealous but they don't always have the proper tools to manage these feelings. Developing conflict resolution skills is a crucial part of childhood and reduces fights, bullying and other types of violent behavior.
Step 1
Model conflict resolution skills for your children. According to Donna Crawford in her book "Conflict Resolution Education," parents who constructively deal with inevitable conflicts at home teach their children valuable social skills. For example, when confronted with a conflict with your child, remain calm and don't raise your voice or use threats. Acknowledge your child's feelings while remaining firm about your expectations.
Step 2
Encourage children to talk about their feelings instead of acting on them. Validate your child's feelings and praise her for telling you how she feels. Children who learn the difference between talking about their emotions and acting on them develop the ability to manage stress and handle conflicts more productively.
Step 3
Teach your children how to step back from a conflict. Let them know it's OK to call for a time-out to calm down. According to the website Kids Health, children learn the ability to self-regulate by having time out to think about their behaviors and the situation.
Step 4
Help children to solve problems on their own. Ask your child what he plans to do about his "problem" and encourage him to think of possible solutions while providing gentle guidance. For example, if he has a disagreement with his brother, let them know that you are confident in their ability to work things out. Tell them you will be in the next room if they need help but first ask them to try and figure it out themselves. Real life situations help your children develop real life skills.
Step 5
Emphasize the importance of compromising. Be a role model by showing your child how to compromise. For example, when playing a game with her, tell her she can go first this time if you go first next time. If you're renting a movie from the video store, say, "Let's try and find something we both like."
