If your child is like most strong-willed children, she probably likes to call the shots--and may not take kindly to anything that stands in her way. While you may admire your child's determination, you may also find her stubborn nature exhausting. To parent the strong-willed child, you must learn to balance discipline with love, while nurturing the strength that makes your child such a unique force of nature.
Step 1
Set clear limits with your child. Strong-willed children test limits more often than other children. Make sure your child knows your rules and understands the consequences for breaking those rules.
Step 2
Break your child's will but not your child's spirit, advises Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician and author. Make your child obey without creating such a punitive environment that the child feels picked on or humiliated.
Step 3
Keep a journal of your child's moods. Learn the types of events and situations that elicit certain behaviors. Use this information to identify your child's triggers and anticipate outbursts.
Step 4
Pick your battles with your strong-willed child. Create a set of rules for your child to follow and learn to ignore irritating behavior that does not warrant actual punishment.
Step 5
Say no to your child in a firm voice. Avoid giving lengthy explanations when your child is acting out.
Step 6
Model good behavior for your child. You can teach your strong-willed child to handle frustration by handling your own strong feelings in constructive ways.
Step 7
Intervene when your child's frustration level gets too high. While it is important for your child to learn to deal with frustration, lending the occasional helping hand can diffuse high-stress situations.
Step 8
Challenge your strong-willed child. Engage your child in games and activities that reward determination and tenacity.
Step 9
Praise your child. Search out good behavior and comment on it. Give hugs, kisses and lots of encouragement when your child behaves well.
Step 10
Empathize with your child's feelings. Let your child know you care about her feelings, even if you cannot condone certain types of behavior.
Tips and Warnings
- Dr. Meeker advises parents to work on one or two behaviors at a time. As your child's behavior improves in a given area, you can choose new issues to address.
- Labeling and name calling can damage your child's feelings of self-worth. Remind your child that she is not a bad person just because she misbehaves.
Things You'll Need
- Journal
- Pen/pencil
