According to experts at Planned Parenthood and Helpguide.org, excessive jealousy and a need for control in a relationship can both be signs of unhealthy dynamics and potential abuse. Jealousy is a normal feeling, but jealous behaviors can often be destructive. When one partner limits the other's activities or interactions with others or expects her to conform to his tastes, opinions and values, it is an indication that the relationship is not a healthy one.
Jealous Behavior
According to Planned Parenthood, most people may feel insecurity or self-consciousness from time to time. When a partner feels insecure and distrustful to the point of constantly checking up on his mate, reading her email, or criticizing her clothing or choice of friends, it is an indicator that the person's jealously may be a problem.
Controlling Behavior
According to Helpguide.org, jealousy and control are very closely linked. Jealousy can prompt a partner to want to control his mate. Dominance in the relationship also is an indication of a need to control. A partner may wish to control the finances or decision-making in a relationship. A highly dominant partner may, for example, pressure his mate to work in a specific job or not work at all. He may want to have control of decision-making about activities and expenses as well.
Healthy Relationships
Experts at Planned Parenthood note that healthy relationships foster a sense of security and mutual respect between partners. Partners in healthy relationships have shared decision-making and offer each other support. Open, honest communication is also present. If a partner feels jealous, he can speak openly about his feelings, and the couple will practice effective problem-solving. The key is that healthy couples make reasonable attempts to negotiate and collaborate, and neither partner has to have the upper hand.
Improving a Relationship
Experts at Planned Parenthood note that problems with jealousy or controlling behavior can be improved if both partners acknowledge the problem and seek support. Couples who work together through counseling or self-help techniques may find that the jealousy decreases as they build more trust and intimacy. Experts note, however, if there is an overriding sense of inequality, insecurity or unhappiness between partners, it may be best to end the relationship.
Expert Insight
According to sources at Helpguide.org, patterns of excessive jealousy and control can be strong warning signs of abusive relationships. If a partner feels an overwhelming sense of anxiety or jealousy about a relationship, he should seek support from a professional counselor. Likewise, if a partner is experiencing a loss of independence or increased isolation, she should talk to a trusted friend or professional counselor or call a domestic violence hotline for help.
Member Comments
BtBGlobal March 20
brutus, the fault is in yourself. Jealousy destroys more than you want to admit. It destroys woman and children.