As a man, if you make the decision to seek a divorce, one of the first responsibilities you face is to talk to your wife about your plans. Some men dodge this part of the process and merely proceed to filing a divorce. Their wives learn of the divorce case when they end up served with divorce papers. There is a process through which you can approach your wife and convey to her your desire to seek a divorce, according to "The Complete Divorce Handbook: A Practical Guide" by Brette McWhorter Sember.
Step 1
Ask your wife if she can set aside some time to talk with you at some point during coming week, at a time that is convenient for her. You do not need to be intentionally evasive. However, at this juncture you likely are wise not to go into specific detail about the actual intended topic of conversation.
Step 2
Prepare a checklist of the specific points you want to discuss with your wife about the issue of divorce. By planning what you desire to say, you will be less likely to veer to far off course when the date comes to discuss divorce with your wife.
Step 3
Tell you wife directly that you want to pursue a divorce at the start of your scheduled conversation. Do not beat around the bush. Do not set forth a list of reasons why you want to end the marriage at the start of the conversation. Simply explain to your wife that you feel you reached a point at which you believe a divorce is in the best interests of both of you.
Step 4
Give your wife a reasonable amount of time to respond to your statement about desiring a divorce. Although you should provide her as much time as possible to express how feelings about the news of your desires to end the marriage, if she becomes angry or cannot express all of her feelings in a reasonable period of time--within an hour--suggest pausing your discussion to a later date.
Step 5
Share with your wife the timeline you desire to operate under in pursuing a divorce. Specifically, tell her the estimated date that you intend to file a divorce petition.
Step 6
Avoid leaving your wife with hope for a reconciliation, unless that truly is part of your objectives. Misleading your wife in this regard when you approach her about divorce may make her feel better at the time. However, over the long-term, dishonesty about your true intentions only belabors the process and hurts your wife more than necessary in the long run.
Things You'll Need
- Written talking points
References
- "The Complete Divorce Handbook: A Practical Guide"; Brette McWhorter Sember; 2009
- "Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce"; Emily Doskow; 2008
- American Bar Association: Section of Family Law
