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How to Get Over a Broken Friendship

author image C. Giles
C. Giles is a writer with an MA (Hons) in English literature and a post-graduate diploma in law. Her work has been published in several publications, both online and offline, including "The Herald," "The Big Issue" and "Daily Record."
How to Get Over a Broken Friendship
Two friends having a serious talk on the couch. Photo Credit Comstock Images/Stockbyte/Getty Images

For many people, friends are more like family: they're there through all of life's ups and downs. This can make losing a close friend as devastating as breaking up with a long-term partner. Sometimes friends simply grow apart and find they have little in common anymore. Unfortunately, a friendship may also end due to a disagreement or betrayal. Getting over a broken friendship takes time and patience, and may require facing up to some difficult truths about yourself and your behavior.

Stay Away

Seeing or speaking to your ex-friend is not going to help you get over your broken friendship. This may be difficult if you decided to end the relationship and she is repeatedly trying to contact you. Stay strong and remember the reasons the friendship broke down, advises Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist and author of "Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend." Focus on other friends and embrace all opportunities to make new connections that come your way.

Take Responsibility

Accepting the role you played in the demise of the friendship will help you get over what happened and move on. Blaming the other person for everything will only make you feel more angry and bitter. Think carefully about what caused the friendship to end and consider how you could have acted in a different way. This may help you when it comes to future relationship problems.

Share Your Feelings

Don't suffer in silence if you're struggling to cope with the loss of your friend. Talking to other friends, relatives or your spouse about what has happened can help you come to terms with it. Try to get things off your chest without complaining or portraying your friend in a bad way. This won't help you to move on or help others empathize with what you are going through.

Seek Closure

After you have given yourself sufficient time to emotionally detach yourself from the relationship, seek closure by sending your ex-friend a message. Leaving things on a bad note will make it more difficult for you to complete the recovery process. Send her a message, either by phone, text or email, to let her know you bear no hard feelings and you wish her the best in the future. Recall the good times you shared and the ways your friend enriched your life, suggests Levine. Remembering the friendship in a positive way is much healthier than viewing it as a failure.

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