Making friends can be a snap if you're easygoing and outgoing. But if you're the quieter type--and not comfortable in social situations--it can be a challenge to meet people and form friendships. That doesn't mean you have to spend your days and nights alone. You can find friends who share similar interests and learn to develop fulfilling relationships.
Step 1
Seize opportunities to meet friends. The Happiness Project says the more you get out and make contact, the more chance you have of connecting with other people. It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out effort, if that wears you out. Stop at a colleague's desk to chat for five minutes, go to the company party for a half hour, stay after church for cookies and conversation. A natural way to make friends is to join a carpool. Even if you don't see each other outside the commute, you can form a supportive relationship while you're on the road.
Step 2
Find people who share your interests. Join a book group to discuss literature and ideas, enroll in a clay class if you're artistic, or take tennis lessons to improve your serve and meet other players. Volunteering is another way to meet potential friends, says the National Mental Health Information Center. Pick a venue that interests you, whether it's an animal shelter or your church thrift store. If you already have something in common, you'll find it easier to make conversation and have more meaningful social exchanges. After meeting a new friend in a group setting, make a date to continue the relationship in the same vein--for instance, playing tennis when class isn't in session.
Step 3
Go online to find friends, says BeliefNet.com. If you have trouble establishing contact face to face, the Internet can help you lay the foundation of a friendship. Depending on your needs and interests, you'll find everything from forums for horse lovers to support groups for people with depression. Some relationships develop and remain online with the parties never meeting in person, but you can still find support and satisfaction.
Step 4
Act the way you'd like your friends to act, recommends The Happiness Project. People are drawn to those who speak well of others, maintain an upbeat attitude and make a point to smile.
Step 5
Make the effort to keep in touch with people you meet and like. Communicate through email and phone calls, but don't overdo it, says the National Mental Health Information Center. Use common courtesy about when to contact a new friend--for instance, avoid calling late at night. Relationships need time to grow and you can nourish them, but try not to force them too quickly.
Tips and Warnings
- When you meet people you click with, exchange contact information early on. BeliefNet.com says that facilitates getting in touch when you want to plan an activity.
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