According to Susan Ward, Older Child Adoption magazine, adopting an older child has its own set of difficulties--but these challenges, she says, will make you appreciate the good times ahead.
Memories
Adopting an older child brings reflections of the child's former life and family. Older adoptive children often cope with fear and loss as they struggle to find a place in their new worlds. They do not know what to do with memories of birth parents, siblings, extended family, foster parents and friends. Ward states that older adoptive children may have attachment issues that will require your patience, support and guidance.
Neglect and Abuse
Although the older adoptive child may seem to cling to his birth family, many of these children have been the victims of maltreatment or neglect by former caretakers. Memories of maltreatment and threats of abusive caretakers may warn the child that adults--even you--can't be trusted. Survival behaviors, such as hoarding food or lying, may interfere with assimilation into your family. In their book, "Parenting the Hurt Child," Regina Kupecky, MSW and Gregory Keck, PhD encourage adoptive parents to recognize that you are not to blame for your adoptive child's prior harm--but you can help your child heal by providing unconditional encouragement, guidance and security.
Special Needs
An advantage of adopting an older child is having greater information regarding your child's health and development history. This may include testing and documentation indicating special physical, cognitive or behavioral needs. A child with identified needs is likely to have a medical treatment plan or individual education plan (IEP) in place to meet his needs. Treatment may include a combination of occupational, physical or speech therapy, mental health sessions, special education services, assistive technology, nursing services and pharmaceutical intervention, depending on the child's needs. Rita Laws, PhD, at adoption.com, warns that you must be prepared for a wide range of needs and outcomes. In many instances adoption assistance benefits, including financial support and Medicaid, are available to offset the extra time and financial investments made as you raise a child with special needs.
