Dating rebounding typically refers to getting into a relationship too soon after ending a serious one. Instinct might tell you to find someone new right after a breakup, but you could be sabotaging that relationship. Dating before you're ready could hurt both you and your new partner. When you're emotionally unavailable to another person, it isn't fair to pursue a connection. Take time to get over your old partner before you try the dating scene again.
Step 1
Remove all of the items from your home that remind you of your old partner. Even if the split was amicable, you need to gain closure from your breakup and start fresh. Get rid of pictures, mementos and even the number in your cell phone--anything that could be a constant reminder of your old lover.
Step 2
Avoid any contact with your ex for at least 60 days, suggests Greg Behrendt, author of "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy." Contact could open old wounds and make the healing process even longer.
Step 3
Give yourself time to heal before you embark on a new relationship. If you were in a particularly long relationship, the social landscape has changed from the last time you were single. Take your time, and don't pressure yourself to get back into the dating game before you feel ready. There's no shame in spending time with friends, or staying in on a Saturday night .
Step 4
Embrace your independence by trying new things and rebuilding your self-worth. Social psychologist Daniel R. Hawes suggests in "Psychology Today" that while some people look to rebound relationships to help them recoup their broken self-esteem following a breakup, building your confidence on your own is the best way to "rebound." Nurturing your own confidence allows you to see that your self worth doesn't revolve around who you're dating and your marital status. Take a class, go for a promotion, learn something new or reclaim an old hobby.
Step 5
Date casually when you begin to dip your toes back into the waters of relationships, psychologist and clinical social worker LeslieBeth Wish suggests. Date a variety of different people so you can see what types of characteristics you want in your next partner. Try group dating or activity-based dating, so you have the chance to socialize without getting too serious.
Step 6
Wait for a few dates with the same person before you divulge the information of your latest breakup. Let him know that you're still just looking to date casually, especially if he seems as though he wants to become serious. This gives him a warning to take things slowly. If he does want to get serious, he'll respect that you need some time and space to heal before another meaningful relationship.
References
- "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy": Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt; 2006
- Psychology Today: The Case For Rebound Relationships
- Dr. LeslieBeth Wish: The Danger of Rebound Dating and Relationships
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