Young people increasingly are returning to the nest because they find that living on their own is much more expensive than they realized. These returning adult children, sometimes called "Boomerang Kids," according to MoneyWatch.com, increase household expenses, sometimes significantly. Ironically, their return often corresponds to the period when parents are trying to save up money for their own retirement. Your child is unlikely to offer to help with the added costs of her presence, so it's a subject you will have to raise.
Research and Preparation
Step 1
Make a list of your monthly costs, including rent or house payment, taxes, insurance, grocery bills, insurance and utilities. Calculate the average cost of these expenses over the one-year period prior to your child's return to account for seasonal fluctuations in utility bills. Calculate the average of these same expenses in the period following your child's return. Compare the two figures. The difference is the real cost of your child's presence in your household. For example, if your average electric, water and gas bills increased by $25, $15 and $10, respectively, and you are paying $50 more per week in groceries--roughly $200 per month--your child's presence is costing you about $250 per month.
Step 2
Look at your child's income and decide how much he can afford to pay. A reasonable target is 10 to 20 percent of his monthly income, recommends MoneyWatch.com. If your child's gross monthly income is $3,000, he should pay you between $300 and $600 per month. This is advantageous for your child because renters normally pay about one-third of their monthly income for rent, according to Apartment Ratings. Depending on your child's circumstances, however, you may decide to charge him only the additional costs you incur as a result of his presence.
Step 3
Tell your child that you need to talk about sharing expenses and schedule a time to do this. Don't do it immediately because she will be blindsided. Give her a day or so to mull over the issue so that she can make her own calculations about how much she realistically can afford to contribute.
The Conversation
Step 1
At the agreed-upon time, show your child the calculations you have done regarding expenses and state the amount you expect him to pay monthly. Listen to any concerns he expresses and be ready to negotiate if necessary.
Step 2
Discuss the starting date of the arrangement and when the monthly payments are due. Rent payments normally are due on the first of the month, but you may find that a different pay schedule works better, depending on when your child receives his earnings and when your most costly household bills come due.
Step 3
Discuss the duration of this arrangement. MoneyWatch recommends that you tell your child clearly when you expect her to move out. This can be a specific time period or it can be tied to an event, such as when she finishes graduate school or as soon as she finds a better job. Do not leave her with the impression that this arrangement is indefinite. Also make clear that rent payments will change if you experience an increase in household bills.
Tips and Warnings
- You may wish to consider an arrangement that gives your child a break for conserving energy and water. For example, charge a flat fee plus a percentage of the utility bills. A simple formula is to divide each bill by the number of people in the household to determine each person's share.
Things You'll Need
- Copies of monthly household bills since your child's return
- Copies of monthly household bills for the one-year period prior to your child's return
- Your child's monthly income figures
- Calculator
Member Comments