After the initial excitement of having a new baby wears off, the change in a couple’s lifestyle can be stressful. A new father may react by getting depressed and becoming increasingly impatient, anxious, irritable and even aggressive. He may “act out” through reckless driving, having affairs or substance abuse. He may become socially withdrawn or retreat into workaholism. To get an understanding of the problem, it is useful to have some sense of the factors that bring on postnatal depression (PND).
Maternal Depression
Doctors and therapists are only just beginning to understand the complex combination of physical, emotional and social factors that cause PND. One major contributor to the problem is the emotional state of the new mother. A man is most likely to develop PND if his partner is depressed. Coping with their partner's emotional state takes a toll, According to Dr. Will Courtenay, founder of PostpartumMen, up to half of men whose partners have postpartum depression are also depressed themselves.
Financial Worries
Financial worries may also help trigger PND. The father may feel burdened by his new financial responsibilities and he may have difficulty keeping up with the demands of work when added with family obligations. Sleep deprivation is often a factor. Since babies need to be tended constantly, the new father may often end up dragging through work and daily activities in a state of exhaustion. This leaves him vulnerable to depression.
Shifting Focus
Another reason for male postnatal depression is the change in the relationship dynamics of the couple. When a new child comes into a family, the focus shifts from maintaining the couple bond to taking care of the baby. The new father may feel that he has lost his partner‘s emotional support, and he may end up feeling lonely and rejected. Stressed out couples are likely to argue, which contributes to further the depression.
Problems with the Past
PND is often rooted in a person’s past experiences. Men who have a personal history of childhood trauma or past problems with mental health may be vulnerable to problems coping once they have children of their own. Other factors that can negatively affect a new father include a lack of support from friends and family, difficulty adjusting to the changes associated with fatherhood and unmet sexual needs and expectations.
Keeping it Silent
Many men with PND try to hide their condition. This “silent depression” only causes more pain and further depression. It can undermine the relationship between the parents and compromise the development of the child. Planning ahead during pregnancy and talking openly about any issues or concerns throughout the postnatal period are the best allies in the struggle against depression. Having access to parenting information, counseling resources and emotional support are recommended.
