It's difficult to watch as your previous active and healthy parents begin to deteriorate and become elderly and ill. It's even more difficult to take on the burden of their care on your own. As you handle elderly and ill parents, ask for help from siblings, family members and medical professionals who can help shoulder the weight of caring for parents. Consulting your parents and allowing them to make decisions when possible will help you ease the transition while you take on a new and often draining responsibility.
Step 1
Communicate clearly with your parents and the rest of your family to make the decision to assume the responsibility of their care. Your parents may be reluctant to surrender their independence, but if they are too elderly and sick to function on their own, you should make the decision with the rest of your siblings to make a change in their lifestyle. Make sure you're clear with your parents about the reasons for the decision. Tell them you're worried and want them to be able to relax and feel better, so they don't feel as though they are simply losing control.
Step 2
Allow your parents to make daily decisions whenever possible, suggests the U.S. Department of State. Remember that they are still adults and the loss of independence and decision making can be scary or depressing for them. Keep them in the loop by discussing medical decisions, as well as small, every day solutions. Maintain the child-parent dynamic by asking for advice, even while they're in your care.
Step 3
Ask for help from siblings, medical providers and even hospice care. Depending on the extent of your parent's illness, it may become too large of a burden for you to shoulder yourself, says FocusOnTheFamily.com. Ask a sibling or family member to give you a few nights off and take a break, or have hospice care look in on your parents while at work so you don't have to leave.
Step 4
Talk to your parent's physician to create a plan for medical care that you can follow or show other caregivers. If your physician wants your parents in the office for weekly checkups or testing, you can write it as part of their plan and give it to anyone else assuming the care. A plan of care can also be shown to your parents so they understand how the doctor wants to proceed medically. Accompany your parents to their appointments and ask questions whenever applicable, suggests the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging.
Step 5
Be realistic about the extent of your patience, abilities and other responsibilities. You may not be able to take on the care of your elderly parents when you have a busy family life, a full career or your parents are too ill to be cared for at home. If this is the case, do your best to ensure that they are comfortable and well-cared for.
