Getting into an argument with your boyfriend can lead to the two of you coming to an impasse about the situation at hand. Once this occurs, you have to decide if you want to win the argument at all costs, including losing him, or if you want to stay in the relationship. If you choose keeping your relationship intact, you will have to work with your boyfriend to resolve the conflict.
Step 1
Calm down, recommends Kansas State University. Trying to work out a conflict with one or both of you upset or hurt will probably work against you. Ask him to let you know when he is ready to talk to you about the problem.
Step 2
Listen actively to him. Focus on what he is saying instead of trying to plan your next statement or becoming sidetracked by something else going on around you. Acknowledge what he says and respond when it is appropriate. Under no circumstances should you interrupt him while he is speaking.
Step 3
Apologize to your boyfriend if you did something wrong that caused the conflict. When you apologize, show him that you are sincere. Be willing to accept his input about the situation and offer him a solution to prevent the same error from occurring in the future. Forgive his shortcomings--whether he apologizes or not.
Step 4
Respect his opinions. You don't have to agree with what he says, but you have to respect his opinions and his feelings. Sometimes it is better to agree that the two of you disagree and move on, states UT Counseling and Mental Health Center.
Step 5
Compromise with your boyfriend. Taking his feelings and yours into consideration and finding a solution both of you can live with will help you to resolve the conflict. When you are speaking about the problem, let him know what you feel a fair solution is and ask him what he thinks. Use your solution and his solution to find a meeting point in the middle.
Member Comments