Deciding to put your parent or elderly relative into a nursing home or long-term care center is not easy. Physical considerations such as your loved one's ability to care for herself, her physical condition and safety often war with emotional guilt, doubt and concerns. Understanding a few basic things regarding broaching the topic and making arrangements can help smooth the transition for both parent and caregiver and help you select an adequate, safe and friendly environment for your loved one.
Step 1
Call a family meeting to discuss concerns about the elderly parent or relative. If possible, have the meeting without the parent present, so you can openly express concerns about the parent without worrying about hurt feelings. Try to come to a consensus, and decide what steps to take next.
Step 2
Talk to your loved one about your concerns regarding his health and safety, as well as your ability to provide care for him. If your parent expressed concerns about becoming a burden to the family, he might be more receptive to such a discussion. Inform your parent about the care he'll receive at a facility, including round-the-clock nursing, help with daily living activities, socialization and meals. You might need to have this conversation more than once. Start ahead of time, when your parent still has his full cognitive capacities.
Step 3
Visit and inspect potential nursing home choices in your community. Listen to your gut. If you find seniors sitting around unattended, ungroomed or wearing dirty clothing, notify the administrator and walk away. Arrange to visit nursing homes during weekends, evenings and holidays to determine staffing ratios during these times. Watch interaction between residents and caregivers at the facility to make sure staff is caring and friendly. See if they respond to call lights in a timely manner, suggests Marlo Sollitto, editor of the website AgingCare. Consider costs. As of 2010, the average monthly rent for a semiprivate room in a nursing home is about $4,000. That doesn't include doctor visits, hospitalizations, medications or other special needs such as rehabilitation.
Step 4
Discuss potential living arrangements in the near or distant future with a loved one who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia, as well as with other family members or caregivers. Such conditions often require full-time care and support in a nursing facility. Make sure your loved one has input regarding her wishes in such situations, suggests experienced hospice caregiver Jean Harker.
Step 5
After discussing options with the senior and other family members, address financial issues such as selling a parent's home or canceling leases. Contact your post office to have your parent's mail rerouted or delivered to the home of a relative during the transition process. You'll also need to arrange cancellation of electric services, telephone services, cable services or other utilities.
Step 6
Determine who should have power of attorney, and prepare documents such as living wills, long-term care wishes and, if applicable, a Do Not Resuscitate or other advanced directive prior to placing the relative in a nursing home, suggests E.P. Cherniack of the Jewish Home and Hospice for the Aged.
