Making conversation can be difficult for some people. But it's basically a skill. And like other skills, you can improve your ability to converse with others through practice. Many people can find a common ground for good conversations in shared interests, such as hobbies, current events and career paths. Even differences in opinion can lead to a healthy, civilized discourse. Regardless of how shy, introverted or awkward you believe you are, you can learn to converse intelligently with many other people.
Step 1
Budget time to prepare, because preparation can help when you're uncomfortable making conversation. But this prep time isn't about coming up with stock comments or canned questions. It's about assessing common interests, new experiences, humorous anecdotes and even current events that you can bring to the exchange.
Step 2
Show interest in the person with whom you're conversing. By posing open-ended questions, or asking for further details or information about comments made during the conversation, you show interest in the person, and keep the conversation rolling, according to the ombudsman's office Harvard Medical School.
Step 3
Listen more than you speak. If you're uncomfortable talking about yourself, ask others about their interests and opinions. People can easily talk at length on topics that interest them, taking the pressure off of you to come up with talking points.
Step 4
Choose your words wisely. This idea isn't about offending others, though that's important, as well. Choosing your words is more about sticking to the point. Try to avoid going on and on about a topic, because you can lose people's attention if you're long-winded during a conversation.
Step 5
Work on your sense of humor by taking stock of what you and others find funny or amusing. Self-deprecation can help inject humor into your conversation, says Maud Purcell, a licensed clinical social worker writing on PyschCentral.
Step 6
Focus on the person. By keeping regular eye contact with the person to whom you're talking or listening, you show that you're engaged and interested in the conversation.
Step 7
Assess your nonverbal communication style. Both facial expressions and body language can communicate an entirely different message than the words you choose. Keep your stance open, and your face relaxed, when you talk and listen to others.
Tips and Warnings
- No matter what you're talking about, always keep it positive. Even if you're being self-deprecating, there's a positive way to do this. Keep it light and fun.
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