If you are prone to angry outbursts that alienate friends, family members and co-workers, it may be time to take steps to learn to manage and control your anger. While anger provides a natural outlet for emotions, it can be destructive if it affects your relationships with other people or jeopardizes your job. Finding an appropriate outlet for your emotions and learning anger management techniques can help you express your frustrations in more appropriate ways.
Step 1
Remove yourself from the situation if you feel yourself becoming too angry. Spending some time away from the situation or person who is frustrating you can help you to calm down and to look at the situation more objectively.
Step 2
Take deep breaths when you feel yourself becoming angry. The American Psychological Association suggests breathing from your diaphragm and repeating a calming phrase or word, such as "relax."
Step 3
Express your frustrations by writing them down in a journal or writing a letter to the person who makes you angry. Don't actually send the letter, but use it as a way to focus on the key issues contributing to the conflict. When you are calmer, you can discuss the issues with the person.
Step 4
Learn relaxation skills, such as meditation or yoga. These skills may help your relax, de-stress and control your temper, according to MayoClinic.com.
Step 5
Practice positive thinking. The American Psychological Association suggests replacing exaggerated, overly dramatic or negative thoughts with more rational thoughts. Instead of thinking that the situation is impossible and can never be repaired, tell yourself that while it's understandable to feel frustrated, being angry can prevent you from looking objectively at a situation and considering possible options to resolve the problem.
Step 6
Exercise when anger threatens to overwhelm you. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions when you feel on the verge of an outburst, according to MayoClinic.com. Any form of vigorous exercise, including running, bicycling or swimming, can help relieve pent-up frustration and leave you feeling more relaxed.
Step 7
Talk to your doctor about counseling if you cannot control your anger on your own. Your doctor may recommend individual counseling with a therapist or may suggest that you take an anger management class.
Tips and Warnings
- If you can predict that you feel stressed at a particular time, plan a break for that time. If a pile of work on your desk leaves you feeling overwhelmed when you first arrive at work, take a short break and practice relaxation exercises or engage in other activities that help you feel calmer. Find ways to avoid anger-causing situations if possible. If you find yourself getting more annoyed with a spouse at the end of the week due to your stress level, postpone important conversations to the weekend or another time when you are feeling more relaxed.
Things You'll Need
- Journal
