Anger can be a child's way of declaring his independence and expressing his feelings. But it can often be displayed as aggression, especially in younger years. Your child may need help considering the feelings of others, according to Scholastic Parents. Your response to your child's anger is important as you teach him that aggression does not solve problems.
Step 1
Tell your child there is nothing wrong with feeling angry, but it is not OK to hit, bite or throw things at the person with whom he's angry. According to the National Network for Child Care, anger is a normal emotion, and it's acting out that is not acceptable.
Step 2
Encourage your child to verbalize his feelings. Acknowledge your child's anger when it occurs and name the emotion. For example, you can say, "I see that you are angry. It must make you frustrated to lose that toy." Ask him to tell you why he is feeling angry. This will help your child recognize his feelings and learn how to voice them.
Step 3
Tell your child to use calming techniques when he feels angry. He can take deep breaths or sing to himself. La Leche League International suggests making a poster with your child of acceptable things to do so that he has a visual reminder of his options.
Step 4
Separate him from the situation if he feels like he cannot calm down. Tell him that walking away from the situation is a good thing to do if nothing else is working. Redirect him to another activity or tell him that he can draw a picture of how he is feeling.
Step 5
Set an example. When you are angry, say out loud what you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and what steps you are going to take to calm down. Your child will learn how to handle his anger if he sees that you can become angry and handle it correctly.
Tips and Warnings
- Be patient when helping your child manage his anger. It may take awhile for him to practice using the techniques that can help him. Keep your rules, limits and discipline consistent and age appropriate. It can make your child angry and frustrated if he is not clear about his limits.
- Do not make your child feel ashamed of being angry. Colorado State University Extension says that a child should be able to express his feelings in a safe way. If your child's anger seems to be out of control or caused by family troubles, ask your child's doctor for help.
