You've taken a big step by getting married, but now comes yet another major move; this time, out of your parent's home and into one with your new spouse. It might seem like a relief (for all parties, perhaps), but it can be a little unsettling, too. As Australia's Better Health Channel advises, don't be too proud or shy about asking your parents for advice or help. They were in your shoes once and may be able to offer everything from advice on finding a new home to a little money to help you get settled.
Take Only What You Need
When you're setting up your new home, the last thing you need is 25 years worth of stuff in need of a new location. If your parents lived with you and your things this long, they can probably hold onto your belongings a little while longer until you get settled.
Make the Tough Decisions
It might be time to give up the beanbag chair you've had since high school and the posters, pennants and any other various decorations adorning your walls. When we live at home after high school and college, we tend to cling to the things that were a part of our childhood. But getting married is a pretty good signal that childhood is over and that some of that accumulated stuff has to go. There's an old saying, "Keep the love, toss the thing," that applies to gifts, but it goes for anything really.
Offer to Take What Your Parents Don't Want
If your folks have been complaining about that old dresser in the guest room, why not offer to relieve them of that troubling piece of furniture. Don't treat your parents' home like a rummage sale, but if there are things you could use that they may not want or need, don't be shy about asking.
Consult Your Spouse
Like any married couple, you and your spouse are bringing memories and mementos to your new life together. But, because you're sharing a new home with someone, as a courtesy you should probably ask if your leopard-skin rug or model trains have a place in your new place. This mainly applies to the big stuff, and if you feel strongly about something, share your feelings. Be willing to compromise, however.
Take Note of How Your Parents Did Things
You may have taken for granted the way your parents organized their kitchen or garage or how they performed little chores around the house. Now that you're leaving, take note of what worked organizationally in their home so you don't have to reinvent the wheel in your new place.
Commit to Staying in Touch
If you're just moving across town, tell your parents you'd like to still see them frequently (at least at first). Maybe arrange for Sunday dinners at their house or take turns hosting them at your place. Maintaining that connection will make the move easier for everyone.
Take Responsibility for Your Health
In an article on leaving home in the "Men's Health Forum," it's noted that once you leave home, where your parents may have been there to make doctor's appointments and perform other chores for you, now those responsibilities are on your shoulders. Take a moment to list the kinds of things you'll need to start doing for yourself and, if you're unsure, ask your parents.
