How To Explain An Abusive Husband To Children

Domestic abuse is always a tragedy. It is doubly so when children are in the household. An abusive husband can be extremely difficult to discuss with your offspring. You cannot pretend the issue does not exist. Children always sense when something is wrong--no matter how well you think you are hiding it. Speak to your children about the abuse to help them cope with the situation.

Step 1

Take your child to a peaceful setting to discuss your abusive husband. Go to a quiet park or walk a nature trail for your initial talk. It is preferable that you speak alone with your children rather than involving the abuser before he has begun treatment for his problems. Honestly is important for understanding.

Step 2

Ask your child what he has observed and what his feelings are. Keep your voice calm and listen without interrupting. Don't express surprise at anything she says. Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of "Crazy Love," says a comment by your child may open the door to you giving her information about the abuse that you may have neglected to relate before.

Step 3

Explain to your child that good people sometimes have temper issues and problems they have trouble controlling. Let your child know the abusive husband is not evil but ill and that he needs the help of professionals and his family.

Step 4

Reassure the child that you are getting immediate help. The Better Health Channel website says that abuse is a crime and must be addressed. You must get professionals involved because domestic violence is not an issue that can be handled alone. Know that it is highly probable that it will happen again.

Step 5

Inform your kid that he is not the only child going through this type of situation. Tell him that many children live in homes in which spousal abuse has occurred. This will help him not feel so alone.

Step 6

Help him deal with his fears by specifically identifying them. Make a plan as to how you will deal with each one to restore your child's comfort.

Step 7

Obtain family counseling, so that a professional can guide you in communicating with your child about what is happening. It is excellent if your husband attends, but you must go even if he is not involved.