William Hazlitt once said, "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." It is a true shame that the gifts within many individuals are suppressed by some misguided sense of worthlessness. The self-conceptions that you create are demons that serve to destroy you. But if you do find yourself in a pit of despair, many exit paths exist. It is just a matter of slowly rebuilding and relearning the preconceived notions of yourself.
Step 1
Build up a support system. The "no man is an island" idiom couldn't be more true in the case of self-confidence. Losing touch with reality means that you need reassuring friends to guide you to the truth. If you have many burned bridges along the way, try to find an existing support group such as one in a church or group therapy.
Step 2
Hone your focus towards one area of your life. Being excellent at something beyond doubt is an automatic confidence boost. Think about it: no matter the bad things people try to say about Michael Jordan, he will always undeniably be the best basketball player of his era. Improve a skill or hobby of yours as a source of undeniable proof that you are good at something.
Step 3
Test yourself. You will exhaust your mental energy by thinking "I'm not sure that I can do this." Go after a career goal that seems out of reach or a hot girl at the bar who seems unattainable. Knowing your own limits is impossible without experimenting.
Step 4
Read about famous people who failed. This allows you to discern the difference between failing and being a failure. Pick up a copy of an Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Edison biography; they failed a lot. Even literary giants like John Steinbeck, J.R.R. Tolkien, Emily Dickenson and J.D. Salinger were very poorly received at first.
Step 5
Listen before speaking in conversation. Taking in multiple perspectives allows yourself to think differently. If your perspective led you to a lack of self-confidence, then your perspective is negatively skewed. Develop the thinking pattern of highly confident people and you will soon develop their behavioral patterns too.
Things You'll Need
- Biographies
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