When you are going through a divorce, the holidays can open old scars that have begun to heal. The media's portrayal of happy families over the holidays can make you mourn the loss of your family unit even more deeply. To get through the holidays, remember that you don't have to deal with it on your own. Friends and family members can help you create new traditions and surround you with support through a difficult time in your life. Asking for help and being clear about your expectations can help you have the best holiday possible.
Step 1
Talk to your ex about the holidays and scheduling, especially if you have children. Even if you're not on friendly terms, cordially discuss who will have the children and where they will go. Remember that the holidays are likely difficult for your ex as well, and arguing over visitation and activities will only exacerbate the problem.
Step 2
Tell your children and your extended family about any changes in plans due to the divorce, according to the website Families. Be honest, but try to work around problems. For example, if your mother is upset that she won't see your children on Christmas, suggest that you can bring them for New Year's and a delayed Christmas celebration. Present changes in a positive light.
Step 3
Create new traditions. You don't want a constant reminder of the void left in your life from divorce, so don't try to continue old traditions on your own, according to Psychology Today. You might be spending time alone during the holidays, so look for new things to try and ways to keep yourself busy in a healthy and independent way.
Step 4
Avoid competing with your ex to see who had the biggest, most expensive and most enjoyable holiday season. If you have children, don't compete to see who can give the biggest gifts; remember that time together is likely more valuable to your kids anyway, according to Psychology Today.
Step 5
Spend time mourning the loss of your family unit and old traditions, according to Risa Garon, executive director of The National Family Resiliency Center. It's OK to feel sad over the holidays, but don't allow your sadness and feelings of depression to overwhelm you. Take time on your own, cry and feel badly, and then move on to something even better.
