Children can find it especially difficult to cope with the loss of a pet. Family pets often become a child's playmate, trusted confidant and overall best friend. The loss might also be your child's first significant experience with grief and the confusing emotions connected to the grieving process. She might become angry with you for not saving the pet, refuse to accept the permanence of the situation or feel guilty about not treating the pet better. You can help your child cope with the loss by allowing her time to mourn and answering her questions honestly.
Step 1
Talk to your child about the death of a family pet in a way that is appropriate for his age and maturity level. Children younger than 7 do not typically understand the permanence of death, according to Dr. Holly Nash. Give a brief explanation to your preschooler. Make sure he knows your pet will not wake up and come home, but avoid giving him more detail than he needs. Answer his questions. Explain in more detail if older children want to know about the illness or accident that led to the pet's death. Skip facts not pertinent to the discussion, such as how awful the pet looked after the accident.
Step 2
Prepare your child in advance when possible. Discuss an aging pet's illness or the disease process that makes euthanasia the kindest option. Explain that her pet will not feel any pain or fear when euthanized. Give your child a chance to say goodbye. Some children have the maturity to stay in the room during the process, but Nash encourages parents to evaluate the decision carefully.
Step 3
Say the word. Tell your children that your pet has died or is dying, rather than using a euphemism like going away or going to sleep. Younger children often interpret things literally, according to Kids Health. Telling a 5-year-old the vet will put his pet "to sleep" can make him afraid to go to sleep at night.
Step 4
Show your sadness appropriately, and encourage your child to talk about her feelings as well. Once the initial shock wears off, share some memories about silly things the pet did. Talk about how much you will miss the pet when you get home at the end of the day. Help her heal by planning a memorial service, creating a scrapbook that records your pet's life or planting a tree in memory of your pet.
