According to the Mayo Clinic, discovery of infidelity in a marriage can cause a deep sense of shock and grief for the faithful spouse. In the aftermath of this discovery, emotions are usually heightened, and it can take time for a couple to be prepared to talk about the future of the relationship or rebuild trust and communication. In some cases, a marriage can recover and improve after infidelity, but, as experts at the Mayo Clinic note, this process takes time and patience.
Step 1
Give a partner space and time to process the news about an affair. The Mayo Clinic suggests that partners take time apart, which can include a formal separation. When a spouse first learns of an affair, she will typically experience a period of marked shock and grief. This is not the time to discuss specific details about the affair. Spouses need time to process and accept the reality of what has occurred prior to discussing details of the affair or future prospects for the marriage.
Step 2
End all contact, including email, text message, or telephone, with the affair partner. The Mayo Clinic notes that a spouse who has been unfaithful should end the extramarital relationship. Partners cannot effectively make decisions about a marriage or rebuild trust if the extramarital affair continues.
Step 3
Seek support from a qualified individual therapist. Individual therapy can help both partners process the strong feelings produced by an extramarital affair. A partner who has been unfaithful should seek individual help in processing the reasons the affair happened and making a decision regarding the future of the marriage.
Step 4
Seek out referrals for a qualified couples therapist and propose counseling as an option. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, a high percentage of couples report positive changes in emotional health and relationship quality through participation in couples therapy. A therapist can offer both spouses unbiased support and insight on the post-affair recovery process.
Step 5
Rebuild trust and communication. According to the Mayo Clinic, many marriages can recover and improve after an affair, but it requires that both partners reestablish trust and communication. Many times the partner who had the affair must make concerted efforts to rebuild trust by offering his spouse a high level of transparency. For example, sharing detailed information about daily activities will often reassure a partner that the unfaithful behaviors have stopped.
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