While depression may feel isolating to the person going through it, it is not a solitary experience. It affects the family and loved ones of the person with depression as well. While only the person with depression can take charge of his health and decide to get better, a wife can do things to encourage her husband to seek help and support him through the treatment process.
Step 1
Be there for your husband by listening and sympathizing, but don't agree with his negative views. Express hope instead.
Step 2
Be patient with your husband. Depression requires treatment, it is not possible to "pull yourself out of it." Don't tell him that he just needs to cheer up or downplay his illness in other ways.
Step 3
Educate yourself about depression. Men with depression often display different symptoms than women. For instance, men are more likely to "lash out" or abuse alcohol and drugs when depressed.
Step 4
Educate your husband. Have him take an online depression screening. Bring home a brochure about men with depression. He may not realize there is a name for the symptoms he is experiencing.
Step 5
Encourage your husband to seek treatment. Many men with depression don't believe they are depressed, or see depression as a sign of weakness, so it may be difficult to confront your husband. However, depression is unlikely to subside without effort, and it likely will become better with treatment.
Step 6
Call and make an appointment for him yourself if you have to.
Step 7
Offer to go with him to his first appointment. Support from you at this time is extremely important. However, don't be offended if he refuses help or lashes out. Try telling yourself, "It's his depression speaking, not my husband."
Step 8
Encourage him to seek treatment by telling him about the effects his depression is having on the family.
Step 9
Encourage your husband to stay in treatment even if he thinks it's not working. Many treatments take six to eight weeks to begin working. If after that time, medication and/or therapy is still not working, suggest trying a different treatment.
Step 10
Remind him that eventually, with time and treatment, his depression will get better.
Step 11
Invite your husband to do activities he used to enjoy. Keep offering, even if he declines. Engaging in these activities is an important step in the treatment process. However, don't be pushy if your husband declines. You don't want him to feel as if you are disappointed in him.
Step 12
Seek help immediately if your husband speaks of death or suicidal thoughts. Take these claims seriously. Go to the emergency room or call 911.
