The death of a loved one is traumatic no matter what the circumstances. In the case of a terminal illness or injury, no amount of time is enough to fully prepare yourself or determine how you will react when your loved one passes. However, when a loved dies unexpectedly, the grieving process is different. According to Dr. Charles A. Corr, author of "Death and Dying, Life and Living," the violent or unexpected death of a loved one begins a process called traumatic bereavement. Traumatic bereavement involves emotions such as pain, sadness, anger, shock, confusion and guilt.
Step 1
Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with the unexpected death of a loved one. Shock and denial may leave you feeling numb, and "unfinished business" may leave you with feelings of guilt. You may feel panicked about an uncertain future without your loved one and confused about how you are feeling. The grieving process is essential for recovery, so try not to let others decide for you when you should start feeling better and do not set a recovery timetable.
Step 2
Talk about how you feel. Bottling up these confusing feelings will not make them go away. According to the British Columbia Ministry of Public Safety and Solicitor General, the longer you wait, the harder time you will have dealing with your feelings in the end. Share your feelings with family and close friends who may be experiencing feelings similar to yours, speak with persons who experienced a similar situation in the past and get professional help if necessary. Keep a journal as another way of expressing your feelings.
Step 3
Take care of yourself. Although your appetite may be nonexistent and sleep may elude you, eat healthful foods, drink plenty of fluids, rest, exercise and avoid alcohol at this time.
Step 4
Take care of business. A checklist can be your lifeline at a time such as this and help bring some sense of closure, especially if you are responsible for funeral or estate arrangements. If not, see if you can help by cooking meals, providing childcare or writing thank you notes after the service.
