The risks of alcoholism increase in people who began drinking at an early age, have relatives who abused alcohol, have experienced other mental health disorders such as depression, are male or have drank consistently over a extended period of time. Alcoholism is a disease that requires lifetime treatment either in the form of psychotherapy, support groups and/or lifestyle changes. Bringing a person into your life who is in recovery may be concerning depending on your experience with and knowledge of the disease; but dating a recovered alcoholic can happen.
Step 1
Deepen your understanding of the disease. Alcoholism is a chronic mental health disorder that a person will struggle with for his entire life. Over time, a recovered alcoholic should be able to cope more effectively with his illness, but during times of stress or significant life changes his desire to drink may intensify. Ask a mental health professional about the disorder. Read a book about the struggles people with alcoholism have faced.
Step 2
Discuss her alcoholism with her. Ask her to share with you her experience. Share with her your views and experiences with alcoholism. Be open about your concerns and hesitations about dating her.
Step 3
Attend an Al-Anon support group. Al-Anon is a support group focused on the people affected by alcoholism, such as wives, husbands, parents, partners and children; these groups allow people to share their experiences and benefit from the support of others. Find a local Al-Anon group. Make time to go to one of their regular meetings. Share your story and why you have come to the meeting. Continue your participation in the support group for as long as you feel necessary.
Step 4
Avoid making alcohol a central part of your social events or regular life. HelpGuide.org reports that for most recovering alcoholics it is important for them to avoid things such as social interactions and social situations which trigger cravings for alcohol. Ask the person you are dating how he feels about you drinking alcohol. Discuss with him whether he is comfortable with you drinking in his presence. Be respectful of his desire to maintain his sobriety and change your drinking patterns based on his needs.
Step 5
Acknowledge that relapse is possible. Even alcoholics who have been in recovery for long periods of time have the potential to relapse. Be aware of the triggers the person you are dating has told you about. Offer your support by helping her to avoid these triggers. If she has a stressful or bad day, engage in an activity that has stress-reducing qualities such as going for a walk or attending a support meeting.
Step 6
Avoid focusing your entire relationships with him on his alcoholism. Be supportive and move past the disorder. Be aware of him as a person, not as a disorder. Do not take drastic measures to ensure that he never comes in contact with alcohol, such as never eating at restaurants that serve alcohol.
Tips and Warnings
- Find a trusted person to talk to outside of the relationship if you have concerns or stresses related to the alcoholism. Contact her when you need to talk with someone who knows the specifics of the relationship and can offer support.
