Parenting is a challenging endeavor under the best of conditions. A variety of circumstances make the task even more daunting. Children come into this world with their own personalities and quirks. Sundry factors contribute to the emergence of behavioral, emotional, mental and developmental problems. Problem children disrupt their families, schools and sometimes their communities. What's more, a problem child's persistent maladaptive emotional responses and behavioral misconduct can produce long term negative consequences for the child's well being, emotional functioning, peer relations and school performance. With diligence and support, you and your child can improve her behavior and ameliorate the underlying causes of her behavioral and emotional distress.
Step 1
Identify the particular problems that burden your child and disrupt your life. Websites such as Medline Plus or National Mental Health provide descriptions of thoughts, moods and behaviors that are symptomatic of emotional, neurological and behavioral disorders. Review the materials and write down the symptoms that your child has. Take this information to your child's doctor to determine if your child may have a particular disorder. The website Mass General has mental health screening tools that parents can fill out regarding their children. You can complete screening tests, and then discuss results with your child's counselor or doctor.
Step 2
Set up an appointment for your child to see her doctor or pediatrician. Behavioral and emotional problems may result from a wide variety of medical problems, including metabolic, neurological, nutritional or endocrinological conditions. Allergies and exposure to toxins can also contribute to children's behavioral and emotional problems. Your child's doctor can rule out possible medical problems that cause or exacerbate your child's issues. Ask your doctor for a referral so your child can get an evaluation from a psychologist.
Step 3
Develop a behavior management program for your child such as described at Psych Central and Everyday Health. Have regular family meetings during which family members talk about their concerns and complaints. Talk calmly with your child about his mood and behavior problems. Enlist him into the process of working with the family to make things better for everyone. In each discussion, focus on just one to two problems that need to be amended, and create specific rules regarding the problem.
For example, establish rules that homework must be done before watching TV or that curfew is at 8:00 pm. Establish house rules that all members of the household, including adults, must follow. For example, establish rules that people must treat each other with respect, not yell, and not call each other names. Talk with your child about the positive consequences for compliance and negative consequences for misconduct. Use verbal praise liberally. Reward your child by recognizing when they follow the rules.
Step 4
Get help from a counselor or psychologist. Call your insurance company to get names and phone numbers of professionals they will cover. Specify that you need someone who works with children. Consider getting family counseling or parenting training. These approaches involve the parents as co-therapists, expanding the treatment venue beyond the 60 minute therapy session into your child's daily life.
Step 5
Ask for a medication evaluation for your child. Medication may seem like a big step, but untreated children who persist in self-destructive behavior are vulnerable to further problems down the road. For example, a long term study of children with ADHD, described at Child Psychology Research, found that medicated ADHD children were less likely than their non-medicated counterparts to develop depression, anxiety and behavioral disorders within the 10-year time frame of the study. Consider medications especially if the measures described in steps above fail to bring about significant improvement. Your child's doctor may refer you to a pediatric psychiatrist, who is a doctor who specializes in medication for children with emotional and behavioral problems.
Things You'll Need
- Paper
- Pen
References
- Everyday Health: 10 ADHD Behavior Management Strategies
- Mass General: Checklists for Preliminary Mental Health Screen
- Medline Plus: Child Mental Health
- National Mental Health: Mental Health Facts: Children and Adolescents with Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Disorders
- Psych Central: Setting up a Behavioral Management Program for an ADHD Child Resources
