If your partner has been sneaking around, dodging your conversations and acting suspicious, it could be a sign that he is not being truthful with you. But if what your spouse says and does seems to check out, it can be more difficult to determine whether or not he is telling the truth. By examining your mate's body language and learning how to steer your partner's words, you can figure out how truthful he really is.
Step 1
Watch your partner's hands, recommends body-language expert Janine Driver in the article "How to Tell if He's Lying" in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. If your partner puts his hands to his mouth or face while he's talking, he might be subconsciously trying to cover up his words so you won't notice that he's lying.
Step 2
Examine your partner's eyes, says David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., author of "Never Be Lied to Again." If your partner is recalling a true statement or memory, her eyes will go up and to the right if she is left-handed, and up and to the left is she is right-handed. When an individual is creating a new statement, her eyes will go up and to the right if she is right-handed and up and to the left if she is left-handed, Dr. Lieberman says.
Step 3
Check for shrugging. If your mate shrugs while telling a story, particularly during strange moments in the story when a shrug is not necessary, or if your partner is shrugging more than usual, she might be telling you a fib.
Step 4
Listen for pauses. If your partner pauses before answering a question you've asked, he might be trying to make something up, Driver says. See how long it takes your partner to respond after you've asked a simple question, like, "What time will you be home?" Compare this to the amount of time it takes him to respond to the question you really want to ask.
Step 5
Check for extended eye contact. Although looking down or avoiding your gaze might signal lying, looking straight into your eyes while speaking also can signify that your partner is not telling the truth. Watch for any strange changes in eye contact while your mate is speaking to you.
Tips and Warnings
- Do not tell your partner how you will feel about the answer--for example, "I will be so mad if I find out you were smoking"--before asking her a question.
- If your partner is lying to cover up a drug or alcohol addiction, call the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence Hopeline at 1-800-622-2255.
References
- Cosmopolitan magazine: "How to Tell if He's Lying"
- "Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior -- Anytime, Anyplace"; Jo-Ellan Dimitrius Ph.D; 2008
- "Never Be Lied to Again"; David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.; 1998
- Join Together: "NCADD Hopeline"
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