Sending your teenager off to college ranks as high on the proud-but-sad chart as sending them off to kindergarten. Only this time, he won't be coming home after school to tell you all about it. You will have to settle for emails, texting, phone calls, or video chats. You will need to balance staying connected with allowing him room to be independent. Fortunately, colleges and universities recognize the need to for parents and students to keep the lines of communication open and offer sound advice for first-year students and parents.
Step 1
Let your student know you are available to talk whenever she needs you. The first six weeks of college are especially hard for most students, according to Carnegie Mellon University. Your student may say she won't need you or that she doesn't want to call you all the time, but knowing you are available when she does will comfort her as she adjusts to life away from home.
Step 2
Know what services the school offers, suggests Rutgers University. When your child calls because he's feeling overwhelmed, he's homesick or he hates his roommate, you can offer him options other than coming home, even if you'd love nothing better. Be the voice of reason, and let him know his feelings are normal.
Step 3
Listen, don't lecture. Like it or not, you are no longer involved in your student's day-to-day decision making. If you lecture her on the virtues of studying when she tells you she's watching a movie, she will only wish she hadn't called. Dianna Van Sanford, of the Northern Arizona University Parents' Association, suggests parents think of themselves as "support staff" now, instead of "directors of operations."
Step 4
Embrace electronic communication, if you haven't already. Marjorie Savage, director of the parent program at the University of Minnesota, notes that 60 percent of U of M parents now text their students. Often, texting is a quick way to keep in touch without a long conversation. Social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, also provide ways for parents and students to communicate.
Step 5
Set boundaries for both your student and yourself, cautions Karen Levin Coburn, author of "Letting Go: A Parent's Guide to Understanding the College Years." Don't let your student call you to solve her problems and don't call her just to check up. With so many ways to communicate with each other, it can be hard to remember that college is a place where your child becomes an adult and learns to make her own decisions.
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