Parents and caregivers of young children have the responsibility to direct and guide them to appropriate behaviors. Some children are naturally more agreeable and compliant to authority than others. Those that are headstrong and stubborn can be very difficult to discipline. To discipline a headstrong child effectively, it is best to be proactive and try to ward off oppositional behavior before it occurs and to enforce consequences calmly when they do misbehave.
Step 1
Learn what age-appropriate behavior is for your child. Discipline will not work if you are trying to enforce unrealistic expectations. Realize that children go through a natural adjustment period when they try to exert their independence and develop a sense of self around age 2 or 3.
Step 2
Avoid situations that cause frustration and increase the chance of a meltdown. If you know your child needs an afternoon nap, do not plan shopping trips or appointments close to that time. Also, keep healthy snacks and a drink handy between meals to prevent a drop in blood sugar that can make kids extra fussy.
Step 3
Anticipate the times that your child is most likely to resist your direction and become defiant. If you know your toddler will likely throw a tantrum when it's time to leave the park, try to ease the transition by preparing him ahead of time. Tell him he can go down the slide five more times, and then it will be time to go home and play.
Step 4
Choose the important issues to stand your ground. With a headstrong child, you will find yourself exhausted if you allow yourself to get into a battle over every little thing on which you and your child disagree. If she wants to wear her favorite pajama pants to the store, it may not be worth the fight to make her change clothes. Save the battles for the important things like staying buckled in the car seat and sleeping in her bed at night.
Step 5
Redirect your child before he starts to defy you. Before a meltdown becomes full blown, guide your child to a different, acceptable activity. For example, if he starts to become upset when you tell him to stop banging loudly on the pots and pans, show him a puzzle or book the two of you can work on together.
Step 6
Praise your child for good behavior. A headstrong child can grow accustomed to constant correction from parents and other caregivers. Positive reinforcement for following rules may motivate her to continue to behave well.
Step 7
Place your child in time out when he misbehaves and does something he knew was wrong. The time out area should be a seat or area in a room where it is quiet. Calmly and firmly take him to the time out area and explain what he did wrong, and give him the opportunity to think about his actions. The time out should last for as many minutes as his age. For instance, a 4-year-old child would sit in time out for 4 minutes.
Tips and Warnings
- Discipline is easier when you stay consistent and avoid giving in or changing the rules. Make sure other adults who care for your child are aware of rules and expectations.
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