Parenting with love and logic involves helping children learn to solve their own problems. The "Love and Logic" style of teaching and parenting was designed by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. They began to teach this approach in the late 1970's, and many schools use this method with their students. Parents can learn the "Love and Logic" techniques and can then teach them to other parents. Many people report success with this method of parenting. Teaching the steps to parenting with love and logic is done through seminars or classes, using the materials provided by the Love and Logic Institute.
How to Teach Parenting with Love and Logic
Step 1
Gather the materials. Get all your books and handouts prepared and organize ahead of time to teach the class to other parents.
Step 2
Introduce the "self" concept. According to Charles Fay, Ph.D., a child who has a sense of self will be motivated to work toward solutions that will effectively solve his problems. Teach parents the principles that will help them guide their child to a successful end result through allowing him to struggle with the problem, while helping him come to a workable solution to a specific problem. The idea is to guide a child, while also allowing him to feel he is solving the problem on his own, which will boost his "self" concept.
Step 3
Teach parents how to show their children problem-solving skills. Help parents understand what kinds of problems children should learn to solve on their own and which ones parents should be solving for them. Fay calls this owning the problem. Teach the parents how to model good problem-solving skills to their children. This is achieved by identifying the problem, brainstorming possible solutions, choosing which will work the best and carrying out the solution. Initiate role playing between parents in the class so that they can get the feel of how this step works.
Step 4
Help parents learn to give their children a sense of control. Fay says that when children are able to exhibit a measure of control over a situation, they will be more cooperative. This can be something like allowing them to choose what vegetable they want for lunch. The parents have the control that says they must pack a vegetable, but the child has the control to choose which one she would like to eat. Another example is allowing a child to choose her own outfit, provided it matches, is clean and follows the dress code at school.
Step 5
Teach effective consequences. According to Fay, consequences that are logical are more effective in changing a child's behavior. Help parents learn to use logic when enforcing discipline. Part of this method is to provide consequences in such a way that a child will not lose trust in his parents and will still feel that he is loved by his parents. The point is to help children grow and learn from their mistakes.
Step 6
Emphasize how love and logic support a positive relationship. Applying the principles of this method of parenting helps children build trust with their parents and gives them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes by using positive emotions rather than yelling and using excessive punishment.
Tips and Warnings
- The materials needed to teach the "Love and Logic" parenting technique can be purchased through the Love and Logic Institute's website. The Love and Logic books can be checked out at your local library free of charge.
Things You'll Need
- Love and Logic teaching materials
