Resolving issues surrounding children represents one of the most challenging aspects of divorce proceedings, according to "Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce" by Emily Doskow. The divorce and custody laws on the books in all states reflect a preference for parents attempting to settle custody-related issues themselves, without a court hearing. The process for negotiating custody of children, including an arrangement with shared parenting, depends on the unique circumstances of a particular case. Nonetheless, there are some basic elements of negotiation common to all cases.
Step 1
Meet with your spouse to informally discuss individual goals and objectives with regard to child custody. Determine if there is common ground to support pursuing a custody arrangement featuring shared parenting of your children. Shared parenting is an element of a custody plan where parents share decision making equally. In addition, the child spends an equal amount of time in each parent's home.
Step 2
Draft your own proposed custody plan, including the specifics of how you envision shared parenting working, following your meeting. Request that your spouse take the same step. Once you have completed this process, schedule a followup meeting with your spouse.
Step 3
Swap written custody proposals prior to the second meeting. Taking this step allows both you and your spouse a better opportunity to review and digest respective positions and objectives regarding an overall custody plan.
Step 4
Meet with your spouse a second time to discuss the specifics of each proposal and determine what common ground exists between the two of you. Discuss not only similarities between proposals but how to resolve differences, if any exist.
Step 5
Prepare a draft mutual agreement on custody of children featuring shared parenting during the second meeting, if you generally agree on terms. Although a more formal agreement follows, this document establishes the general terms of your custody plan. Both of you should sign the draft document.
Step 6
Obtain a parenting plan form from the clerk of the court. The typical court clerk maintains a selection of forms commonly used in family law proceedings, including a parenting plan.
Step 7
Fill out the parenting plan form, using the information included on the draft agreement created during your last meeting with your spouse. Both you and your spouse need to sign the parenting plan and submit the completed document to the judge presiding in your case for approval.
Tips and Warnings
- Due to the legal complexities associated with custody laws, consider retaining the services of an attorney to represent your interests in this type of case. The American Bar Association maintains resources designed to assist you in finding a lawyer.
Things You'll Need
- Parenting plan form
References
- "Child Custody A to Z"; Guy J. White; 2005
- Nolo: Child Custody FAQ
- American Bar Association: Section of Family Law
