If your child has behavior problems, you are probably overwhelmed and frustrated. As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your child self-control, and there are many ways to go about teaching your child to control himself. Start by making a few simple changes in the way you respond to behavior problems and your child will begin thinking about alternate ways to deal with his frustrations. You have the power to change your child's behavior by empowering him to make positive choices.
Step 1
Be firm, calm and consistent. Your child is unlikely to learn self-control if you yell at him when he misbehaves, reports Kids Health. If your child is exhibiting poor behavior, remain calm and quietly tell him why his behavior is unacceptable and what the consequences will be if he continues misbehaving.
Your goal is to show your child that poor behavior does not get him what he wants and you will not give in when he is out of control. You must also remain consistent. If you tell him that he only has one more chance before he receives a consequence, make sure you follow through.
Step 2
Do not cater to irritating behaviors. If your child is just being annoying, ignore his behavior rather than issuing a consequence, recommends Healthy Children. Your child is likely to engage in more positive behavior if he does not feel that he is in trouble all of the time. If he could harm himself or others or if he is being destructive, reprimand him and dole out the consequence. Ignore the annoying behavior and your child will likely seek out positive ways to get your attention.
Step 3
Reward good behavior. Your child will seek out attention wherever he can find it, even if it means engaging in problem behavior. When your child makes positive and appropriate choices, make sure to let him know that you noticed and are proud of him, suggests Healthy Children. If he is praised when he behaves himself, he is more likely to repeat the same behavior in the future.
Step 4
Model appropriate behavior and teach your child how you want him to behave. According to Healthy Children, many behavior problems are the result of insufficient modeling or education. If you do not teach your child how you want him to behave, it will more difficult for him to meet your expectations.
You can model positive behaviors yourself and explain why acting appropriately is more effective than acting poorly. If your child does get into trouble, make sure you explain why he is in trouble and how he can change his behavior to avoid problems in the future. Kids Health adds that modeling problem solving steps can also help prevent behavior issues because your child will learn how to diffuse the situation before he misbehaves.
Step 5
Consider underlying reasons why your child may be misbehaving. Many life changes and events in your child's life can cause behavior problems, reports Healthy Children. Your child may be trying to tell you that he is in pain or experiencing emotions he does know how to deal with. Think about recent changes he may have experienced, such as a move or a divorce, and talk with your child about how he feels. Ask him what you can do to help him deal with his emotions in a more constructive way.
Tips and Warnings
- If your child begins to display behaviors that you do not like, remind him of the consequences and he is likely to stop. Warnings work to stop inappropriate behaviors before they spiral out of control.
- Never criticize your child or tell him that he is bad. Instead, discuss how his behavior is bad so he does not feel like he is a failure, recommends Healthy Children.
