Children who act out of control can demand the most from parents in regard to discipline, boundaries and unconditional love. Handling this behavior will require a synergy of each on a consistent basis. With secure boundaries established and help from family members, friends and peers, it is possible to resolve these outbursts.
Step 1
Create a plan of action with your spouse as to how to handle an outburst. Get into alignment with how you will deal with the tantrum and what the consequences will be. This united front will show the child your position and will offer her security in knowing she will get one result from both parents.
Step 2
Control your emotions, especially around your children. Children learn through observation and will mirror the behaviors they see their parents using to communicate their needs and feelings.
Step 3
Set a designated time-out area for younger children that will remain the same over time. When a negative behavior is expressed by the child, explain all the reasons the behavior is unacceptable and put him in this time-out area for a selected, consistent time frame.
Step 4
Communicate behavioral boundaries and expectations clearly and without negotiations to older children who have outbursts. This is where the parent must communicate the distinction of parent over friend. These boundaries, once established, cannot budge; otherwise, they won't be effective. Give the child responsibility and control over small things to give her a sense of sense of purpose and power over her own environment.
Step 5
Separate the child from peers or adults who offer attention and acknowledge the behavior. Any reaction a child can get from others will spur on the negative behavior, as the child is often looking for attention, positive or negative.
Step 6
Acknowledge and reward good behavior with verbal affirmations and activities that coincide with the child's interests. This will offer children of all ages a tangible and physical benefit that keeps them focused on the positive results good behavior.
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