Being married to someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive can devastate your relationship and your self esteem. No one should have endure a spouse's emotional or verbal attack, according to the CVS Caremark website. Although it is difficult to face such treatment daily, you can practice coping mechanisms that will help you deal with the situation.
Step 1
Tune out his yelling and screaming by directing your attention to something else or walking away. Let the words go right through you. Keep his criticisms, threats or demands from changing the way you think or feel. This is all abuse that you have done nothing to deserve.
Step 2
Confront your husband. Letting him know that you don't wish to be treated poorly, humiliated or verbally knocked down will allow you to validate your feelings. EQI, a website that offers resources for those examining emotional issues, explains that when you are verbally or emotionally abused you may feel defenseless or invalidated. Try to move past those feelings and stand up for yourself. This newfound courage may surprise your husband and cause him to back off. Use your judgment, though. Sometimes confronting an emotional abuser can lead to violence.
Step 3
Seek help. If you are not ready to leave your husband but you are tired of being hurt verbally and emotionally, seek professional help for yourself. This can be a support group for domestic violence or a counselor or therapist. If you don't seek help for yourself you risk developing severe emotional problems, such as low self esteem, suicidal thoughts, depression and personality changes, according to the website Help Guide.
Step 4
Look into couples counseling. If you think it's appropriate for your situation, recommend it to your husband. Husbands who don't believe the marriage is in jeopardy may resist this suggestion. In addition, a couple's counselor may see the abuse as a mutual problem, rather than the abuser's, according to the website PsychPage. But if an abusive husband takes responsibility for his behavior and is committed to changing, the counseling could help, as it could allow both husband and wife to learn new ways of dealing with each other.
Step 5
Avoid bad coping mechanisms. In some cases emotional abuse can leave you feeling helpless and run down. Some women turn to self injury as a coping mechanism, according to Help Guide. Cutting the skin, developing an eating disorder or turning to drugs and alcohol compound the problem and give the abuser more ammunition to use against you.
Tips and Warnings
- Don't encourage your husband to continue abusing you by abusing him back. Stand up for yourself but don't retaliate verbally or physically. Repeated verbal abuse can be draining. Take care of yourself physically and mentally so you can be strong at all times.
- Any threat of violence or violence itself should not be tolerated. If you feel you are in a dangerous situation, seek emergency help right away.
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