Anger is a natural emotion that can become destructive if it isn't expressed appropriately, according to MayoClinic.com. Children in particular are still learning how to express their feelings of anger. Because hitting, screaming, sulking and blaming others aren't healthy methods of responding to anger, you can help your child learn how to identify her angry feelings and then aid her in coping with those feelings by encouraging her to find more constructive outlets.
Step 1
Describe his feelings when he acts out on them. For example, if he hits his sister when she kicks him out of her room, you can tell him, "You must feel angry that she is leaving you out, but you don't need to hit her," suggests the Virginia Cooperative Extension. This will help him better recognize and express the feelings that are brewing under his skin before they get out of control.
Step 2
Ask your child what's bothering her when she seems angry. Having an attentive listener who doesn't immediately pass judgment will help her talk herself out of her temper flare-up, says pediatrician Dr. Sears.
Step 3
Help him find an outlet. Tailor his anger outlet to his personality. For example, in an angry moment, a spirited child may need a vigorous physical outlet such as a punching bag or a newspaper to tear up, suggests the Virginia Cooperative Extension. Alternately, a tense child may need a soothing outlet such as a warm bath or some finger paints.
Step 4
Discipline with a clear head. Your child is likely to mimic what she sees you do in your weak moments. For example, if you spank her and scream, "Stop being so bad!" when she misbehaves, you teach her that it's okay to be violent when she's angry, says the Virginia Cooperative Extension. Alternately, if you sit her down in a time-out chair and explain calmly that her behavior was unacceptable, you will set a better example and be more successful in reducing your child's problem behaviors.
Step 5
Laugh off mistakes. An uptight child can become upset when he makes errors, but you can help calm his perfectionism. First, respond casually to your own mistakes, says Dr. Sears. For example, if you leave your shopping list at home, you can say, "Oops! I guess I'm Mrs. Absentminded today," rather than steaming over the inconvenience. Secondly, respond calmly when he spills juice all over your new table, or else he will mirror your angry responses when he makes mistakes, and he may begin to equate his value with his successes and failures.
Step 6
Focus more attention on positive behaviors. Regular small comments such as, "I'm so proud that you remembered to make your bed!" and "You did a great job sharing with your brother!" will give her fewer reasons to be angry, says the Virginia Cooperative Extension. Also, the more you praise good behaviors, the more she will want to act in ways that draw positive attention.
