Caring for elderly parents can be one of the greatest challenges in life. It also can be extremely rewarding, as you get to share their joys and disappointments and spend quality time with them. Don't fall into the trap of making your entire life about your parents, however. "Developing relationships and interests away from your parents can help boost your self-esteem and give you the energy to care with more joy and less concern about your sacrifices," says Alexis Abramson, author of "The Caregiver's Survival Handbook."
Step 1
Seek caregiver training from a hospital, nursing home or hospice agency, advises the National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC). A caregiver course can teach you about general caregiving, home safety, healthy eating habits for seniors, and many other issues that might arise while you're caring for your elderly parents. The American Red Cross offers caregiving training courses at chapters across the United States.
Step 2
Enlist help from family members and friends, or hire professional help. Don't make the mistake of thinking you can do this alone. You might enroll your parents in a senior day care center so you can have time to yourself, or you might ask a neighbor to stop by for a few hours once a week. Gather as much support as you can before taking on the enormous task of taking care of your parents.
Step 3
Take as many breaks as you can. Studies show that caregiving for extended periods can negatively affect a person's physical and psychological health. "Take time everyday to engage in a relaxing activity. Read a book, rest, take a walk, meditate or pray.... While it may seem selfish, taking regular breaks will help you 'recharge' and be a better caregiver," says the NAC.
Step 4
Set boundaries with your parents. "Often, adult children aren't aware that they're going above and beyond to meet their elderly parents' requests until they start to feel resentment, anger, frustration" says Portland, Oregon, therapist Lynne Coon. She adds that it takes two people for a boundary to be crossed and that you might have to learn to say no to unreasonable requests. Sit down with your parents periodically and discuss what you will and will not do for them during the course of your caregiving.
Step 5
Be as patient as possible with your parents. Understand that they might feel angry or upset that they can no longer care for themselves. Regularly check in with them and ask how they're feeling, not just physically but emotionally. If you feel stressed out, resentful or angry, take a few deep breaths or go for a walk before responding or reacting to your parents.
Step 6
Take care of yourself as much as you can and be gentle with yourself. Many people experience depression related to caregiving, especially if they spend most of their time in the home. The NAC says "Depression can persist long after a loved one has passed away or been placed in a care facility." If you struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety, schedule an appointment with a therapist, psychologist or other mental health professional.
