The path toward healing is an individual one, and everyone takes her own time to move on after an abusive relationship, according to Richard Kraus and Andrea Lissette, authors of "Free Yourself From An Abusive Relationship: A Guide to Taking Back Your Life." The trauma you experienced and the difficult emotions that ensued will stay with you after the relationship ends, but with time, effort and support, you can move on and leave the pain behind.
Step 1
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE and inquire about resources available in your area. Many local domestic violence shelters offer services and programs for victims of abuse, such as support groups and counseling, employment and educational programs and services for children.
Step 2
Consider seeing a licensed therapist who specializes in post-traumatic stress and trauma to help you deal with the emotional pain caused by the abuse. Contact the Sidran Traumatic Stress Institute at 410-825-8888, ext. 203, for a referral to a local therapist, treatment center or trauma support group.
Step 3
Avoid isolating yourself. Spend time with trusted friends and family members on whom you can rely for love, laughter and support. Make new friends, and enjoy the new things they bring into your life.
Step 4
Establish a structured daily routine to stay grounded, advises Helpguide.org. Schedule time to sleep, eat, work, exercise and relax, and try to stick to your schedule. Leave time for fun social activities, as well.
Step 5
Maintain your health by eating a balanced diet, and getting proper sleep and exercise. Being healthy increases your body's ability to cope with stress, advises Helpguide.org. Avoid alcohol and drugs, which can worsen feelings of depression and anxiety.
Step 6
Return to school, or train for a new job. Cultivate enjoyable hobbies. Volunteer with an organization you admire.
Step 7
Allow yourself to go through the natural grieving process that comes after leaving an abusive relationship, authors Kraus and Lissette say. Share your feelings with family, friends, members of a local support group or your therapist. Work with people who understand and can help.
Step 8
Write a journal of your feelings and your progress while you heal and move on, authors Kraus and Lissette suggest. Read books on self-esteem and healing, and moving on from an abusive relationship. Write a description of how you'd like your life to look and feel in one to three years, and what steps you need to take to get there.
Tips and Warnings
- Remind yourself that the abuse was not your fault, and that the pain and fear you may still feel is natural.
- Don't jump into a new relationship too quickly. Give yourself plenty of time to heal.
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